Fay Slimm

Rookie - 12 Points (Ageless. / in Cornwall U.K.)

Child's E-Mail To God.

Dear God I am riting this to let you no
My Mom's coff got worse and she's just ad to go.
I dont no your E-mail but your everywhere
So sum angel will give it you God, cos you care.

Mom's gone to an ospital they called a Respite
I think that's the name - an I hope it's spelled rite.
They won't let me go cos it's too far away.
But they dont no she hates eggs, an she wont like to say.

Her coff isn't bad when she first gets in bed
But she likes extra pillas God, under er head.
My Mom's got red air, tho she's not got much now
But she likes it combed gently, or else there's a row.

She's got such good teeth God, an beootiful smile
Her nightys are pretty too, she likes keepin in style.
I hope someone reads to her every night - - -
Then says God bless ya and ope bed bugs dont bite.

I thought I would tell you sum things they won't no
And God, cos your busy, I'll sign this off now.
But I wanted to say God before I press send,
She's got nobody there, so please God, be her frend.

Submitted: Monday, August 25, 2008
Edited: Tuesday, November 04, 2008

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Comments about this poem (Child's E-Mail To God. by Fay Slimm )

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  • Rookie Kevin Wells (10/15/2008 1:01:00 PM)

    Excellent piece. What an original thought! I can only add my appreciation to the well-earned praise you have merited with this one. (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Vincent James Turner (9/25/2008 3:22:00 AM)

    Fay, what can be said that has not been said already, this truly is a most wonderful childlike depection on how a child might try and deal with the illness of thier mother, you have used the idea of wrong spelling and mispronounced words to great effect and make the poem seem more real, rather than that of a adult take on a childs feelings. You have commented on many of my poems which i greatly appreciate, so its natural for me to have a look at your work, however i did not know what to expect and must admit i am really impressed.

    this is to go in my favourites, i have attempted to try poems like this myself but find yours far better.

    with warmth

    Vincent (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Sandra Fowler (9/21/2008 3:32:00 PM)

    A small gem of its kind. Ten seems inadequate here. Thank you for all
    the lovely comments on my work. Each one is treasured. Wishing you and your
    gifted pen only the best.


    Sandra (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 3 Points Emily Oldham (9/20/2008 8:28:00 AM)

    That's sweet, I feel sorry for the poor mite. It's full of innocent childish feeling, and it is a childish style of writing - the language and spelling errors for one thing! Thanks, we can learn a lot from this (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Carl Harris (9/16/2008 11:05:00 AM)

    This is unquestionably a poem by a masterful poet, Fay, written just as a child would write it-a difficult task for those so fluent in the language. It is simple yet profound and deeply touching to all who read this beautiful poem. It was so realistically expressed and modern as well. Once again, your talent shines in this brilliant poem. Carl. (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Chitra - (9/3/2008 6:22:00 AM)

    touches the heart to the core
    with this little child's message our hearts too begin to pour (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 110 Points Ernestine Northover (9/2/2008 4:06:00 PM)

    What a moving piece of poetry and so well composed. The tears were well to the fore reading this. Beautifully captured and a wonderful storyline.
    Loved it.
    love and hugs Ernestine XXX (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 107 Points Leslie Alexis (heaven Is My Home) (9/1/2008 9:37:00 AM)

    I so agree with Juneil. this is definitely a must read. I love the fact that you deliberately misspelled the words. It does give the poem a realness that would not exist in the absence. You're great (Report) Reply

  • Rookie David Threadgold (8/30/2008 9:08:00 AM)

    Hi Fay. This is a wonderful piece of work. I like the style very much well done. deserving nothing less than a 10 thankyou. Regards Dave (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Dawn Slanker (8/29/2008 9:41:00 AM)

    What a touching poem. This is an exceptional write. I especially liked the dialect you used to draw the reader into the poem. Lovely poem. (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Ian Bowen (8/27/2008 1:23:00 PM)

    Fay, a poem that deserves a larger audience. Top class piece of writing, that left me sad at the content, but happy at your skill.10/10
    Ian (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 0 Points Tom Balch (8/26/2008 1:57:00 PM)

    WOW! ! ! This is absolutely perfect, Fay you have really pushed the boat out
    this time.I love this poem. fond regards Tom 10 +++ (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 0 Points Bob Blackwell (8/26/2008 12:05:00 AM)

    Fay, I love this one, I think its wonderful, I'm making it one of my favourites, and will make a copy for Shirley to read. Thank you for a lovely start to my new day. Bob (Report) Reply

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