Treasure Island

Dr Hitesh Sheth

(Birth Place: Earth)

Constipation


An urban teacher recently transferred to a rural school
Had complaint of, ‘Inability to pass his stool’.
His wife thought, “Husband may be speaking lie
Let me take him to Freud- City’s sexiest guy.”
Freud boasted, “I can cure this illness in fifty sittings
But since it is an emergency, I will call psychiatrist’s meeting”.
He decided to call psychiatrist all
And they gathered in a big conference hall.
Freud started, “Pt is fixated at phallic stage
And harbors suppressed sex and repressed rage.”
Karl Jung shouted angrily at Sigmund Freud
“You always bring sexuality, Are you Freud or fraud? ”
Then he mocked at Freud, “Do you have brain or bladder
You cannot diagnose even a simple matter”.
Sigmund Freud confessed, “You all know I am sexually perverted
But you also know, personality cannot be reverted.”
Then he added shyly, “Phallus comes in my mind uppermost
When I see pen, pendulum, pillar or post.”
Then Jung added, “It is a simple case of fight
Between a conscious complex and an unconscious archetype.”
Anna Freud said to Jung, “You are speaking in jest
Otherwise go east or west my father is best.”
Alfed Adler said, “I can see with clarity,
It is an obvious case of organ inferiority.”
Maslow interrupted, “Pt has problem in climbing a pyramid
So please give him some push from behind.”
“It is ‘birth trauma’ blurted out ‘A Man in Black’”
When all look on their back, it was Otto Rank.
Adolf Meyer said, “There is no need to guess
It is a simple case of, ‘reaction to life stress’”.
“Basic Anxiety” Karen Horney spoke anxiously
But as usual no one took her seriously.
Briquet guessed, “It is a conversion disorder and secondary gain
There is no pain without gain”
Erickson said- flashing his mobile Ericsson-
“It is a problem of stage transition.”
Heinz Kohut said, “Pt is not getting job satisfaction,
Because he is not getting ‘narcissistic gratification’.”
“It is an adjustment disorder”, spoke SHETH HITESH
Everyone look at him with interest.
Pt said, “You all fool, Don’t loss your cool
I’m not passing stool, because there is no latrine in the school.”

Dr Hitesh C Sheth

27/09/2008

Submitted: Saturday, September 27, 2008
Edited: Thursday, August 05, 2010

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Comments about this poem (Constipation by Dr Hitesh Sheth )

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  • Nivedita Bagchi SPC UK (4/8/2010 11:56:00 AM)

    Freud Jung all came as psychoscopic-analyst climaxed in last line
    ‘…I’m not passing stool, because there is no latrine in the school.”’

    Is it absent toilet syndrome [ATS]?
    Voted 10++
    Ms. Nivedita
    UK

    PS Sir clicked as my favorite poem…
    n (Report) Reply

  • Supriya Prathapan (5/22/2009 4:36:00 AM)

    Oh My God! Its hilarious. This is one of your best poems. You haven't spared any psychiatrist. I wanted someone to present Freud and his theories, in this way. (Report) Reply

  • Pandian Angelina (5/3/2009 4:01:00 AM)

    Dear Doc,
    Funny, Rib Tickling, Fact file on Psychiatrists & Psychiatry
    You dole out Humour, mirth, laughs and smiles
    In the self same breathe you talk of solemn matters
    The mind that thought and the hand which wrote
    The faithful Lover & Zen Monk, wrote this too
    You are versatility at its best multifaceted Gem
    You make us come again & again to your cooling springs
    To slake our unquenching thirst for good poetry.
    I’ve read them all I read again!
    Angel (Report) Reply

  • Richard Dates (5/1/2009 11:54:00 PM)

    This is a skillful and funny poem. I remember studying these guys a long time ago at the University of Chicago. Much water has passed under the bridge since then...but you've left out the behaviorists...they must feel neglected. Great poem! ! (Report) Reply

  • Rm. Shanmugam Chettiar (4/13/2009 10:51:00 PM)

    the illustration reveals your talents of writing, mockery of professionals and and the surprise in the end. a great write 10 (Report) Reply

  • Wojja Fink (3/25/2009 9:47:00 AM)

    Doctor Doctor you are making me cry
    I cannot stop laughing with tears in my eye
    I've lost my mind my senses have quit
    because of your poem of psychiatry wit
    will I ever be the same again
    my mind is wide open it's letting in rain
    my heart's getting flooded with joy every day
    when I look up your poems to see what the Doc. say. Oh yes John (Report) Reply

  • Flavia S.v. (3/21/2009 1:22:00 AM)

    great write
    brought in all the phychologists
    Freud and Jung and Maslow included
    excellent piece of work
    ill call it a masterpiece
    A+++ (Report) Reply

  • Dr Kamran Haider (11/2/2008 5:18:00 AM)

    Wow... Dr Hitesh... all great known theories from the history of abnormal clinical psychology combined in such a wonderful and light way in this piece by you... Sometimes I too wonder, why in Psychiatry or Psychology; we professionals make simpler things complicated and add subjectivity and prejudice of our own minds... You have beautifully communctaed what you wanted to say in a very light mood... Complicated things made simpler... Well done...
    Regards, Kamran (Report) Reply

  • Sidi Mahtrow (9/27/2008 7:54:00 AM)

    At the clinic

    The nurse listened carefully
    Then spoke with authority.
    '| know you have concern
    And there is so much for you to learn
    So I will prescribe a binder for you
    One that will help you with what you do.

    Something to avoid the distress
    And perhaps making a mess.
    What you need is a binder
    That will help you to keep together
    That which is unpleasant
    At the moment.'

    The patient said (So I am told) :
    I don't understand why I need a notebook to hold
    All these papers and other things
    What I need is something that brings
    An answer to my diarrhea
    Excuse me, I've got to go.'

    s (Report) Reply

Read all 15 comments »

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