Does It Ever End? Poem by Patti Masterman

we know if you're dead what a hassle it can be getting a move on
out of that coffin let zippy-monitoring-service do that regular shopping
for birthdays, anniversaries, christmas, graduation gifts that
you keep putting off- got mold? that's no problem for zippy,
we do a biannual spray for mold and fungus you know that awful
rot growing over your sunday-best-that-has-got-to-last-you-forever
no more worries call zippy's-fungus-r-us and forget your worries
the other half of the year. missing your near-and-dear ones, well
no more tears with zippy's wirefree intercom service we'll put microphones
through your loved ones communication interfaces and you can hear
what's going on 24/7 no matter how distant or spaced out they are,
even if they never darken your graveyard again, you'll be in-the-know and
never miss another important moment again, because we know how precious those moments are when you're coffin-bound drainage issues? no more sweating it, zippy ground pumping service has the hose size that's just right, inserted quickly into the liner monthly to ensure all that yucky-mucky gets pumped away, leaving you high and dry and you'll see that life and death only get easier with zippy, yes that's ZIPPY, dial your local code + zippy and experience instant relief today no matter what the problem don't worry, just call zippy and be happy; wonderful feeling, wonderful day! ..