Gaston Santos Poem by Juan Olivarez

When I was a child,
I had a cowboy hero
He was not tall like Duke Wayne
He was actually short like Bob Steele.
He made Mexican supernatural westerns.

He rode a big white horse
Just like Duke's,
Rayo De Plata was its name,
Which literally translated is
Silver Bolt.

He fought underwater monsters,
La Llorona (the crying woman)
Ghostly Indians, and the Terror Devils,
Los Diablos Del Terror, and many others.

He was said to be actually Spanish,
Not Mexican.
And seeing him you would see why this was so.
He was white, blue eyed, and blond.

All kids my age would flock,
To his movies.
And we played Cowboys and monsters,
Everyone wanted to be Gaston.

Gaston apart from being a movie star,
Was also a world class,
World renown Matador.
A bull fighter.

And one day in 1960,
He was to appear at,
La Plaza De Toros Santa Fe,
Right across The border from Mcallen Texas,
I lived in Mission Texas
Just minutes away.

So knowing how much I worshipped this man,
My mother and my aunt Kina
Took me to see him fight the bulls,
I was ecstatic.

Of course as a child of seven,
Reality and celluloid were supposed to be
The same thing.
So when Gaston fought his first bull,
I was on another planet, barely watching.

But the corrida had not gone as planned
And supposedly because of the lack of a quality animal,
Gaston's performance had suffered.
His suit of lights was bloodied,
And the fans were highly upset.

The second bull was
A very brave animal,
And Gaston's performance was exquisite,
Killing the bull with one stroke
And collecting ears and a tail which he tossed into the stands.

But at seven years old, I lost my childhood that day.
I had a terrible feeling in the pit of my stomach,
My heart was in my throat, And a terrible tragic feeling filled my soul.

I started crying when they dragged the second bull out of,
La Plaza De Toros Santa Fe, to be sold as meat.
My sorrow was so great I couldn't stop crying.
Not even when I was presented with a new Mexican guitar,
Mom and Tia Kina got for me at el Mercado.

I never saw a Gaston Santos movie ever again As a child, and I was past forty
Before I could bring myself to see one.
But now fifty five years later, I have never witnessed a bullfight again.
And I guess I will die not seeing one, it is a very sad event.

3/3/2016
29Palms Ca.