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Vizard Dhawan

Love Ladden Lust

I love you but fear
you might not bear
the burden of pleasure
I will provide you for sure

you are more than the world
for your touch and behold
I could do anything
for the happiness to bring

alas! you did't get me
and trying to be free
the love ladden lust
blew away in a gust

Submitted: Tuesday, December 04, 2012
Edited: Wednesday, December 05, 2012

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  • Rookie - 24 Points Jahan Zeb (12/7/2012 7:06:00 AM)

    I liked this one too. You know most people here like the ending but I like the start. Look

    I love you but fear............................................ What? ? ? ? ?
    you might not bear..........................................Might not bear Love....! how?
    the burden of pleasure......hmmmmmmmmmmm Now clear you are going to give her every pleasure
    I will provide you for sure.....................

    Spectacular (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Sudebi Giri (12/7/2012 5:19:00 AM)

    rhapsodic like rap.... the rhythm is perfectly blended with the tone of the poem......speaks your craftsmanship. (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 473 Points Kaila George (12/5/2012 4:08:00 AM)

    Well I think it was wonderful...Im still learning to be a poet myself...smiles...I have only been writing for 6 years now...so...yeah....its just become something that I live and breath for now...its like secound nature to me....mind cant stop thinking of poems...its like a creation of ideas and concepts just bursting fom my soul...smiles..sorry get so excited when talking about poetry....wonderful write...enjoy it so much...thank you for sharing. (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Asif Andalib (12/5/2012 12:53:00 AM)

    Lovely. You can use a syllables counter to make your rhymes more perfect. There are two syllables counter in www.poetrysoup.com which are very useful tools for the poets. The haiku syllables counter count syllables per line so it is more useful. I suggest you should try it (Report) Reply

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