Loving Hate Poem by Amanda R. McKinnon

Another battle starts and the pain begins,
Terror takes over wondering when it'll end,
Keep quiet and still; Don't want to be seen,
Wondering why these words are always so mean.
Venom and hate laced in the words that are said,
Sometimes I wonder if I'd be better off dead.
At least then the pain would no longer persist,
And maybe his loving hate would cease to exist.
Once the words stop I know it'll get real,
Bracing myself in a world made of steel.
The first blow is always the hardest one to take,
Can't let him see me cry or watch my soul break.
Soon the courage comes and I rise up to fight,
Defending against the pain with no end in sight.
As the battle continues I feel my world shatter,
The good memories before no longer seem to matter.
Then as the battle ends with bruises and tears,
I wonder why I've held on for so many years.
I can't even count how many tears I've cried.
Nightmares for memories; a piece of me died.