Shahzia Batool

Rookie - 421 Points (Pakistan)

My Scattered Thoughts i

Did I ever say I'm always right when I never was?

Should I blame others when I could not understand myself?

I'm a piece of jigsaw puzzle

which can never fit into any frame.

I don't know why do I always get failed in telling what I feel…

Am I wrong if I wish to be liked for what I am,

And not for what you like me to be?

Why do I excommunicate myself

when get angry with the world?

Am I the criminal most wanted,

or the hated judge though I never did crime or passed any judgement?

God! Save me from my getting lost in the dark…

Would it be difficult for me to get rid of the pain that lasts,

The thing that hurts,

The flame that burns?

I am neither Cleopatra nor the queen-bee,

But why then when no cries were heard

And no blood was spilled

Even then the soul got crucified?

The cemetery is the peacefullest place I've ever seen

With so much life

Lying scattered, entombed…
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Long before I've left the deception of knowing myself! ! !

Submitted: Sunday, February 17, 2013
Edited: Friday, March 15, 2013

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  • Rookie - 102 Points Muhammad Ali (1/22/2014 2:49:00 AM)

    long before i have left the deception of knowing myself.
    knowing oneself. most difficult assignment in the world of demands and hopes.
    ''jis ny apny nafs ko pehchana, os ny apny Rab ko pehchan''.
    I think, it is me i cant trust. It is me i am deceiving. It is me i am fed up. It is me the hidden enemy.
    Very sad, very real, very beautiful. (Report) Reply

  • Veteran Poet - 3,995 Points Bri Edwards (9/14/2013 3:49:00 PM)

    Shahzia, i especially liked (at least partially agreed with) the comments by Don Ketchy and Unwritten Soul.

    and Robert Green wrote: An Amazing, insightful poem Shahzia, this poem must eel(sic) what every thinking human being on this plant(sic) must feel, think all the time. Maybe as we are just about to be interned*** we will know our own inscription for our tombstone. i don't feel the feeling portrayed in this poem all the time, and probably feel it rarely, if at all. i consider myself lucky in this respect. others may think me weird (and a few have called me that!) . as for my is a nice idea, if we weren't running out of space and resources to indulge in the luxuries of burial and tombstones. yes, cemeteries are peaceful and a good place to go birdwatching at times, but i may rather want my body left out for vultures to dispose of as i've heard has been done in some societies. we DO have vultures here in california. hmmmmmmmm? thanks for sharing. well-written. bri

    ***rather than interned, i believe R. Green meant interred (i didn't catch that at first reading....and i also misspelled weird the first time. even we great poets are fallible. and i misspelled fallable(sic) the first time.) ha!

    past tense: interred; past participle: interred

    place (a corpse) in a grave or tomb, typically with funeral rites.
    he was interred with the military honors due to him


    Am I wrong if I wish to be liked for what I am,
    And not for what you like me to be? .........NO! But i think you are wrong/foolish if you EXPECT TO BE or INSIST UPON BEING liked for what you are rather than for what others like you to be.

    AND: Long before I've left the deception of knowing myself! ! ! ..........i can't be sure what is meant by this line. written as it is, it seems to be the end of a sentence or the beginning of a sentence, and NOT a complete thought. BUT if you put a comma after Long before......then you make it into a sentence which to me means that long ago/a long time ago you gave up the deception of feeling you knew yourself. :) (Report) Reply

  • Silver Star - 9,129 Points Heather Wilkins (5/26/2013 11:20:00 AM)

    we are all different but in so many ways we are all the same Shahzia this is beauitfullwritten with a lot of insight and emotion (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Besa Dede (5/2/2013 10:17:00 PM)

    Very deep poem dear Shahzia! You amaze me with the simplicity with which you write... yet, your thoughts are full of insight and truthfulness. And I do agree with Walterran Sally when she says that each of us can find a piece of self amongst your lines. Thank you for describing them so nakedly truthful.
    Best wishes,
    ~Besa (Report) Reply

  • Veteran Poet - 2,997 Points Walterrean Salley (4/18/2013 11:46:00 PM)

    Each can find himself somewhere ‘mongst the enlightening lines. What an “epiphany” this poem is. Well done Shahzia. (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Lasoaphia Quxazs (4/18/2013 6:45:00 AM)

    Dear Shahzia, just know that we are all different, we all have a built in feeling. What we are, we are. When you find who you are you will know the truth, that you are wonderful as you are. Do not care who wants what, and when you love yourself as you are, it will not be necessary that others would approve you. (Report) Reply

  • Veteran Poet - 3,841 Points Lyn Paul (4/13/2013 12:30:00 PM)

    Blaming...Why? So many questions. Cemeteries too me to are incredibly peaceful. Well written (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Jen Walls (4/12/2013 5:38:00 AM)

    Yes, when we leave our self-deception within the graveyard of self judgement...we are truly free to be our soul's divine purpose. Wonderful write dear Shahzia! (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 235 Points Yasmeen Khan (4/8/2013 1:08:00 PM)

    dandelion thoughts...the discovery that we do not know ourselves is a step towards self-knowledge, paradoxically. (Report) Reply

  • Gold Star - 12,690 Points Valsa George (4/8/2013 11:33:00 AM)

    Am I wrong if I wish to be liked for what I am,
    And not for what you like me to be?
    A very pertinent question, we all tend to ask. We cannot be another person, always to plese others. With the over running tone of pathos and melancholy, this poem goes deep into our psyche and leaves a tugging effect! Thanks for the nice comment! (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 807 Points Thomas A Robinson (3/3/2013 1:45:00 AM)

    The cemetery is the quitest place place around because there are few people there.
    Living life is energy...packed to the max.It challenges your every step.
    Soon weary you become, alone cold uncomforted.
    But you move forward one step at a time. Past the crucifixion, past the judgements,
    And believe that you are not deceiving yourself.
    Remember there is little of life in a cemetery. (Report) Reply

  • Bronze Star - 7,067 Points * Sunprincess * (2/27/2013 7:35:00 AM)

    dear shahzia, I feel to know thyself is to love thyself, then you can love others..
    sure I have read this before but not sure where.. a fabulous write! (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Search 2 (2/27/2013 7:32:00 AM)

    The loss of illusive sketches of identity is here a poetic license and Shahzia, you have enjoyed a luxurious charm of encountering life in all its entity.
    A good poem indeed. Sorry for not reading earlier... [As you may know I am now rebuilding my home page as I got the old homepage deleted from the PH due to a technical error.] (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 38 Points Indira Babbellapati (2/25/2013 3:16:00 AM)

    go's an engrossing journey one needs to embark upon at some point or the other. go on, my friend, go on! (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 0 Points Sanjay Mehta (2/25/2013 1:07:00 AM)

    A sequel to your scattered thoughts:


    Bheedh ke is sailab main
    Sab jahan hai
    Kya hum wahan hain
    Hum jahan hai
    Sab wahan hai.

    Bheedh ke is sailab main
    Tum kahan ho
    Sab jahan hai
    Tum jahan ho
    Sab wahan hain.

    Bheedh ke is sailab mein
    Hum dundhte hain humko
    Is sailab main
    Tum dhundte ho tumko
    Is sailab main
    Sab dhundte hain sabko
    Is sailab main
    Hum kahan hain
    Tum kahan ho
    Is sailab main. (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Don Ketchy (2/24/2013 2:11:00 PM)

    These questions will continue to form an essential part of all who is still alive. Not to be completely answered or given an answer that is comforting... if life is however to be lived from the dictates of others, we would be busy going around in circles... what moves us forward is because we dare to walk no matter how uncomfortable the questions, a time comes to shrug the shoulders and let if fall by the wayside because there is something much greater ahead of all of us that beckons us...a wonderful insight this... I am indeed blessed to know you...I (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 501 Points Tribhawan Kaul (2/21/2013 10:32:00 AM)

    Very powerful though little pessimistic depiction of sentiment through words pouring out feelings of hurt, anguish and seclusion inflicted by life through various internal and external forces. This life is full of challenges and one has to confront it with a one’s all strength not allowing evil designs to overpower. This poem is breathtaking one. The life is full of challenges. It gives one pain and happiness without realizing its effect. Happiness passes swiftly whereas the pain seems to tick away too slowly to our comfort….. God! Save me from my getting lost in the dark…is a line in which the poet sees hope yet God also help those who help themselves as each bad situation can be overcome by our determination, mental strength and the resolve to face the odds with courage and conviction.
    ========x====================x===================== (Report) Reply

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