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Shahzia Batool

Rookie - 416 Points (Pakistan)

One Evening


...Out of some irrepressible urge of talking, I tried to talk to a sparrow, a daily guest who used to sit on my window frame and sometimes hopped on to some twig of the only uncared for tree, a loner like me. I was bold enough in my attempt as if to disturb her calm and poised loneliness, but as I called her she did not pay attention to me; I was shocked, humiliated, I felt my thoughts dying inside, and saw my ready words wasted in the air, but I thought, she must be justified, and must be occupied with the thoughts of flying back to her nest before the darkening of the shadows from grey to black, I curbed my wish and let her fly, if not me, at least she should go to her home.

The butterflies were tender though but carefree to the extent of being stubborn in their attitudes, they made me realize the alien state of my being; they did not need my love as if I did not belong to their garden, who just came there as a wanderer in search of some rare feel of joy, I read in their language the words of alienation. Then I felt really alone, and sat under the sky in wait for the moon, for I had known her to be a lonely dweller of the night-sky, the deep, translucent blue tended to darkness, I read somewhere that two loners make a good company, but when the moon ascended to my deep disappointment, there was some revelry in the celebration of her luminous loneliness…the solitary moon, the proud moon, enjoying its company among the sycophant starry maids-of-honor; I found her too busy to hear the convulsed words of a suppressed spirit of a loner; putting all my ego aside, I made signs to invite her attention but I received one message as if she said to me: “I give the light, and shine the night, I warm the heart, enrich the life, what else? ...”

Unnecessary tears started flowing from the eyes despite the struggle to keep them inside, I sat there, not completely broken though, as if supported from above, I opened the book of my joined hands and started reading the poems of fate composed in the long and short curved lines, the essence that I received stayed with me forever that though my hand was never held but it was enough that my hand was a holding one...

Submitted: Sunday, August 25, 2013
Edited: Monday, August 26, 2013

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~~~really scattered~~~

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  • Gold Star - 12,205 Points Valsa George (8/31/2013 10:52:00 AM)

    A beautiful write! ! Human soul endeavouring to connect itself with the animate and inanimate objects of Nature! Regardless of how they treat you, you are ready to take them all into your fold...'my hand a holding one'! Such a person will not have to stay a loner! Thanks, Shahzia for your nice words! ! (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Sun Shine (8/30/2013 1:23:00 AM)

    “It is the evening that questions thus from within me.”
    ? Friedrich Nietzsche...

    Self satisfaction is very important in life which this line depicts that ... though my hand was never held but it was enough that my hand was a holding one... (Report) Reply

  • Gold Star - 10,460 Points Ramesh Rai (8/29/2013 12:38:00 PM)

    the poems of fate composed
    in the long and short curved lines,
    and to study such a great task with different creatures creates a mesmerisation on total natural phenomenon thro this write. certainly this write is then possible only when heart mind n soul is totally detached with worldly affairs and attached with the divine solitude. a great philosophical write with deep sense n thoughta.a grt poetic talent is exhibied thro this write.my sister keep your imagination in full swing. (Report) Reply

  • Freshman - 1,585 Points Sallam Yassin (8/28/2013 3:04:00 PM)

    sweet I meant pure flow like the every thing that comes out of nature not fake bravo Shahzia and thanks to share this piece of art
    shine like moon
    I see in all images yours
    beauty (Report) Reply

  • Freshman - 1,585 Points Sallam Yassin (8/28/2013 2:56:00 PM)

    in greedy i found one good thing
    when the mind heart are greedy
    in need more and more for knowledge
    and in lonely nights grace of sharping my sense of unfilled soul for the beauty and art/ Oh Shahzia it is quit sweet and easy like the nature it self Masha'Allah (Report) Reply

  • Bronze Star - 5,300 Points Geetha Jayakumar (8/28/2013 9:43:00 AM)

    Beautiful poem Shahzia..The ending so beautifully you have portrayed, that I could visualise it... (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 812 Points Unwritten Soul (8/27/2013 9:43:00 AM)

    This one could be one of my favorite of yours, where your mind wandering to search where your soul traveling around the life. I like the connection you created here and how it awaken us as a soul owner_Soul (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 219 Points David Wood (8/27/2013 5:19:00 AM)

    We are part of nature but we have to connect with it and appreaciate its beauty to make sense of our lives. A good write. (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Farah Sonam (8/27/2013 4:07:00 AM)

    ahh...the connection of man with the nature is immortal...finding solitutde and peace is the deepest desire of any poet and author...talking to a sparrow highlights the state of lonliness and absorption that the author was lost in imagination and out of pain wanted to share her feelings with a bird which is simply unavailable to this lost soul. it seems as if the author has something deep inside her and she wants to burst out or explode not with a bang but with tears bcz she is neither fed up from the attrocities of this world nor happy with the existing phase...she needs a company of all tose who have the same feelings and share common pains...this piece of writing is really a voice of every emotionally intelligent man in this world: -) (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 92 Points Yasmeen Khan (8/26/2013 10:07:00 AM)

    There is a sacredness in tears. They are not a mark of weakness, but of power. They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues. They are the messengers of overwhelming grief, of deep contrition and of unspeakable love.”
    ? Washington Irving
    A beautiful write, in quest of company you find an answer as luminous as the moonshine: warm the hearts... (Report) Reply

  • Gold Star - 33,788 Points Aftab Alam Khursheed (8/26/2013 9:27:00 AM)

    Sparrow, butterfly, moon all are attractive to any body for kids its more to see them not always for all but we have to raise our head...justification...understanding others need/ now butterfly haughty difficult to catch by the kids as they are behind..desire of kids and desire of us we run /moon up there give up light at night performing duty we forget concluding hand should be holding one I must support I must help I must indulge in Charity and charity got many way love to read this prose nice of you thank you (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 0 Points Ozark Mountain Homegrown (8/25/2013 4:39:00 PM)

    This is so hauntingly beautiful to me...your heartfelt emotions of loneliness and desire, and then the realization, that just being was enough, are so touching... I loved this so much... (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Passionate Reader (8/25/2013 7:21:00 AM)

    It's a complete piece, so symbolic with beautiful diction and lovely metaphors! ! ! After reading this, i must say you are not only a great poet but a great prose writer as well and i loved this heart felt write. The undying urge to talk to someone, inhours of loneliness, is beautifully described with full on emotion and feeling. The ending just touched my soul.

    I opened the book of my joined hands and started reading the poems of fate composed in the long and short curved lines, ..

    brilliant work.
    Blessings (Report) Reply

  • Veteran Poet - 3,449 Points Lyn Paul (8/25/2013 3:30:00 AM)

    An extremely meaningful and touching write. Felt sad read these heart felt words. (Report) Reply

Read all 17 comments »

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