Could there ever be a greater joy
than that experienced by a woman
on the day of the birth
of her firstborn
A miracle wrapped in flesh
completely innocent; completely vulnerable
a brand new soul, loving unconditionally
the one who traveled to the brink
of death, in order to give her life
Could there ever be sorrow heavier than
to give back to Him who sent her,
this beautiful angel, whose life had
not yet begun to deliver all the
possibilities of which she was capable
One who had known so little of real happiness,
but was well acquainted with Sadness,
Loneliness, and Guilt; borne not
of her own making, though assuming
the load willingly
Could there ever be a deeper
anger, frustration, and bitterness
at an All Powerful, ALL MERCIFUL God
who took her out of our lives, without
so much as a whisper of compassion
on those of us left to mourn her,
begging to know 'Why'
'Where are you? ' 'I don't understand'
'Why? ' 'I believed You'd heal her'
'You knew my faith was strong'
'I did everything you asked of me'
'I TRUSTED YOU'
Could there be anything afterward
but days of darkness; a darkness
so smothering that to move, or simply
to take the next breath was a feat too
great to accomplish
I want to hide; I need to find a place to
bury myself, and cry, and scream, and
curse until I've choked on it
I can, and do, spiral deeper, into an
abyss where there's nothing but the pain;
nothing but the regret; nothing but her face
I want out; I need out;
There is no way out
But somehow, in the depth of that
outer darkness, there was light
Though dim, I saw it clearly, beckoning
me to follow
Doubtful, and afraid, I nevertheless
followed, not wanting to leave my cocoon,
yet desperate to somehow get out
The Light grew; intensified
I cried out 'Lord, don't leave me here;
I can't do this alone anymore. I need You'
And in that instant I called, He heard, and
was ready to rescue me from that pit;
from myself. I reached upward;
His hand was already there, waiting
He 'lowered me a rope'
It was an answer; not the one I wanted,
but the one I needed; the one He used
to pull me up out of my 'grave'
'No reason given would suffice; no answer
would be good enough, not even from Me
No reason could make it right
You could never understand,
even if I told you'
When I grasped that 'rope, '
everything began to change
He lifted me gently, with a love I had not
allowed myself to acknowledge. Those words
of compassion, denied before, were now
whispered reassuringly to my heart;
'She's safe; she's well. You will see her again'
In that moment, His Grace was revealed
in a way never before experienced
Like a warm blanket, I covered
myself with His Mercy and Love
His Presence was so strong, I felt
I could reach out, and touch Him
And I knew, then, I could go on
Could there ever be a love greater than
that of a Merciful Heavenly Father;
One who gave up His only Son, and therefore
knows very well the pain of the loss of a child
This poem has not been translated into any other language yet.
I would like to translate this poem