The Bed I'Ve Made. Poem by Sandra jacks

It's been six months since they saw me last,
they'll say I've changed,
I'm not distant...
But I'm very far away,
feeling like a juggler,
with all the different faces I'll play....

judgement of my every move,
can not even hope for the best,
yes they'll be happy..
..........
but will I?
...........

When I see them they will cry and I will...
Smile in my heart you see,
lately emotions are a stranger to me.

I made my bed,
now I have to lie in it,
no not lay but lie in it....

hypocrisy,
the one thing I hate,
I suppose this is just another smile from fate,
saying hello like an old friend,
now I'm the one that must....
pretend.