This Is Not A Poem Poem by Shagun Khera

this is not a love song..or some silly poem i write for you...
this is not even something i need to remind you..
but just because today i thought wat do i feel for you...
i took a piece of paper and started jotting my feelings through...

i can still remember when we met..
i kept you waiting for an hour outside that coffe shop..
and then u saw me panting..out of words..
u thought i was tired.. no u misunderstood me...i was awestuck and speechless when i saw you..
first love of my life.. and u were there.. right in front of me..
looking right into my eyes as if able to read my heart...
i still remember the warmth of the first handshake...
i can still feel it.. i know its silly..
wat else...

i drove you in my car.. right across the highway..and i could feel your eyes on me...
searching for that someone.. who said..he wud love you all his life..
yes i saw ur smile.. as if you just uncovered me..beneath my controlled compose..
i so wanted to hug.. hug you tight as if never to let you go..
yes i fell in love with you.. over and over again. i don't know how many times..
and i still rememeber our first kiss..i could feel you next to my heartbeat...
af if the kiss was going to last forever..
and i can still feel the taste...the wet lips...
the thunderbolt hitting me from inside...
to make you mine..

i couldn't live without you.. so i came for you...
uncaring for the world that craddled me for so long...
u and i...the world ends...
right in ur arms..on those rainy nights...
i wondered.. what cud be more blissful than u by my side..
and i sucked every moment out of the thin air...
never to let you go even for once...
the soft toys..reminded me of the innocence that kept me wired to you..
so i thought of gifting u to you...
and ofcourse the roses...
and the mugs u remember...with you all over them..
and the dimples so obvious... u knew i fell in love with them...before i fell in love with you...
u remember right? ?

today...you still run thru my mind...don't u ever get tired...
over and over again its you...and i wonder how did you manage to encroach upon my soul..
and it doesnt let you go...
i wonder on those lonely nights today.. sitting at my balcony..sipping beer...
u shud have been here.. u know..i feel really bad...
really alone...strangled...sometimes it kills me...
where did you go.....and why did you go....
i don't know....but still i quest for the answers...
but its okay...confessions of a crazy mind...

but i want to tell you...
m at peace with myself...momentarily...but its ok...
i can manage myself..just as well...
its ok for me.. life is good..
hope ur doing good tooo...in ur life..
which now i choose to be oblivios of..
because knowing it just hurts me a little more..
wish you all the best...u told me ur leaving soon...
by the time u come back.. i won't be here..
no i'm not gonna die...i'll live..
but probably without you now.....
without you now...