Akhtar Jawad

Gold Star - 28,619 Points (8-2-1945 / Gorakhpur)

Birds And Girls - Poem by Akhtar Jawad

Pretty, colorful flying graces,
Gliding in air, twittering everywhere,
I have seen their smiling faces,
Loyal to spouse, no affair.

Working hard, at their best,
Collecting something, knitting a craft,
Making a nest for love and rest,
And to lay the eggs, so soft.

So are the girls, all beautiful,
Thinking in teen age, now or never,
Innocent, lovely and colorful,
Looking for a partner, a friend for ever.

Mostly deceived, by playboys,
Enjoying a girl, looking for other,
They take them as beautiful toys,
Not to love and live for ever.


Poet's Notes about The Poem

Being shocked to read poems of girls who have been deceived.

Comments about Birds And Girls by Akhtar Jawad

  • Rookie - 256 Points Farhan Mirza (1/3/2015 2:27:00 AM)

    It was written so nicely. (Report) Reply

    1 person liked.
    0 person did not like.
  • Gold Star - 13,971 Points Edward Kofi Louis (11/5/2014 3:51:00 PM)

    Great work! Thanks for sharing this poem with us.

    E.K.L. (Report) Reply

  • Gold Star - 13,393 Points Ramesh Rai (9/3/2014 11:02:00 AM)

    Some time it makes me to think how they flee from one nest to make another nest. whenever they go to old nest they become restless within a day or two to their own crafted nest. I m the bird of my father will flee oneday for ever. Beauty explodes in your write. (Report) Reply

  • Gold Star - 8,496 Points Khalida Bano Ali (8/25/2014 1:38:00 PM)

    A beautiful poem with a message (Report) Reply

  • Freshman - 659 Points V P Mahur (6/14/2014 1:02:00 PM)

    Dear Bro,
    You have beautifully described the reality of love affairs. Thanks for your comments. (Report) Reply

  • Gold Star - 22,655 Points Valsa George (6/3/2014 12:58:00 AM)

    A beautiful comparison.... It would have been better if the comparison had been between girls and caged birds.... Any way men enjoy ' bird watching'! Enjoyed this light hearted poem! (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 127 Points Kirti Sharma (5/3/2014 3:36:00 AM)

    Nice poem...
    It shows you respect girls.. (Report) Reply

  • Silver Star - 3,959 Points Zinnia Narcissa (4/18/2014 11:22:00 PM)

    An eye opener to the reader. Very Good (Report) Reply

  • Freshman - 543 Points Yasmeen Khan (4/17/2014 10:46:00 AM)

    You think birds and girls are same....yes, a unique comparison but are girls free to fly anywhere? :) (Report) Reply

  • Gold Star - 8,667 Points Bri Edwards (4/14/2014 7:27:00 PM)

    Birds And Girls
    ...............at first i thought the first two stanzas were about birds alone, or about some bird-girl creature, like talking about girls and birds (female birds i guess) at the same time.
    - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
    Pretty, colorful flying grace,
    Gliding in air, twittering everywhere,
    I have seen their smiling face,
    Loyal to spouse, no affair.

    ..............since you use their [which i only use when referring to more than one, like more than one girl or more than one bird] in line three, i thought you should have used faces instead of face. of course you can use poetic license to make a 'perfect rhyme with face/grace. but if i had written the stanza, i think i would have used graces/faces.
    - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
    Working hard, at their best,
    Collecting something, knitting a craft,
    Making a nest for love and rest,
    And to lay the eggs, so soft.

    .........as i said above, i first thought this stanza might refer, in part at least, to girls and not just to birds. so when i read the eggs, so soft, i thought you were referring to soft eggs. but eggs (at least when a shell is still around them) are not soft, so i thought Akhtar was referring to human babies as soft eggs and referring to a nest as a home/household supported by a girl/woman.
    - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
    So are the girls, all beautiful,
    Thinking in teen age, now or never,
    Innocent, lovely and colorful,
    Looking for a partner, a friend for ever.

    ..................i think when you write now or never, you mean the girls think if they don't find a mate while they are teenagers, then they will never find one.

    - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
    Mostly deceived, by playboys,
    Enjoying a girl, looking for other,
    They take them as beautiful toys,
    Not to love and live for ever.

    ................................. at first i didn't like seeing ever at the end of stanza 4 when i just saw it at the end of stanza 3. BUT, after reading it again, i decided i DID like it. it serves to emphasize the different ways boys and girls sometimes think about 'dating'.
    - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

    thanks for sharing the well-constructed poem, with the interesting comparisons (girls/birds and girls/boys) and the 'warning' for teenaged girls.
    i also appreciated the rhyming. bri :) (Report) Reply

  • Gold Star - 14,311 Points * Sunprincess * (4/3/2014 7:48:00 PM)

    .....it doesn't have to be this way...instead of the boy choosing the girl....the girl should be intelligent enough to choose the boy...enjoyed... (Report) Reply

  • Bronze Star - 2,037 Points Khalid Saifullah (4/3/2014 2:03:00 AM)

    What a poem! I think the best from him, expecting more. (Report) Reply

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Poem Submitted: Thursday, April 3, 2014

Poem Edited: Wednesday, April 16, 2014


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