kanav justa

Rookie - 960 Points (Shimla)

Constant Sorrow


Everyday
A Sunday

Tranquil I stay
Alone in my way
nothing to play
nothing to say


hairs getting gray
sadness they spray
and depressed i lay
Still without a pay

And all i pray
someone take me away

to a place where there are lots of flies at least I can spend my time killing them

Submitted: Thursday, December 13, 2012

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  • Bronze Star - 5,737 Points * Sunprincess * (5/4/2014 10:34:00 PM)

    ..........this is so original...I LOVE THIS POEM.....cause you rhyme, rhyme, rhyme and rhyme some more.....and truly kanav justa you are my favourite poet :) (Report) Reply

  • Freshman - 1,482 Points Dinesh Nair (4/20/2014 2:02:00 AM)

    You could retain the element of suspense all throughout and your handling of the phases of the illustrative poem is superb Kanav. (Report) Reply

  • Veteran Poet - 4,791 Points Amitava Sur (1/20/2014 2:54:00 AM)

    That's why I repeatedly say - Loneliness in a way is another form of death...... right penning Kanav (Report) Reply

  • Gold Star - 10,332 Points Valsa George (12/15/2013 12:57:00 AM)

    Beautifully rhyming verse on a blighted life! Enjoyed the easy flow of the whole poem! ! (Report) Reply

  • Freshman - 1,940 Points Patricia Grantham (6/5/2013 9:25:00 PM)

    A delightful poem. Killing flies is just another way
    of killing some time. Hope the sorrows will fly away (excuse
    the pun) . Enjoyed the write. Please read my poem
    Valley of Despair (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Stevie Taite (12/24/2012 2:46:00 AM)

    This is an awesome little muse! Reads so well and I love the last line! It's a real 'kick the can' with your pockets tugged down poem! Enjoyed! (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Stevie Taite (12/24/2012 2:45:00 AM)

    This is an awesome little muse! Reads so well and I love the last line! It's a real 'kick the can' with your pockets tugged down poem! Enjoyed! (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 673 Points Unwritten Soul (12/16/2012 8:54:00 AM)

    SO short but it conclude all perfectly....that's how a good poem can share! Nice nice nice write Kanav...it really good, very good..and so true heartfelt_Soul (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 24 Points Jahan Zeb (12/16/2012 8:38:00 AM)

    You kept me guessing what the end will be like. there you go my dear. the last line is an extremely unexpected end. Very nice and very imaginative. You know your last line is very powerful. yes it's comic but means a lot and makes the readers thinking. What distress! if someone finds killing flies better than.
    10 out of 10 dear (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Owain Glyn (12/13/2012 2:44:00 PM)

    I have just got to tell you, there are very few pieces that I read that have made me laugh out loud, yours most certainly did! Not really fair to take it out on the poor flies! ha, ha, ha. I shall definitely read some more. Worth a 10 (Report) Reply

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