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Vijay Sai

Rookie - 13 Points (30 12 1975 / Trichy, South India)

Crippled Dreams


I was rear, and by the window
She was front, and by the aisle
I saw her reflection
Her face was moonlit
overflowing with strings of black curtains
cascading deep and drooping down,
Twins of twinkling stars
revealed between thin strips of dark disappearing clouds as moist as ever
and ready to pour into downpours,
sprinkled with occasional flashes of lightning,
As I admired her beauty on the mirror
hanging lonely over the steering wheel
of the passenger vehicle with a strength of a pack of playing cards,
it halted in its destination,
I searched her as her twinkling eyes crossed swords
and looked forward for her fullest portrait
Astonished I was to see her limping with artificial support,
while I stood unmoved, she disappeared without a trace,
But not within myself!

*A young boy was traveling in a bus, seating beside a rear window seat. He saw a girl sitting on the corner seat behind the driver. Her face reflected on the mirror hanging over the front glass panel. Her mirror image seemed so beautiful and he began to be in dreams, finding comparisions to her beauty. After an hour’s journey, the bus reached in its destination. He woke up from his dream and looked eagerly to have a complete look at her. But he was surprised to find her as a handicapped, limping with artificial support. While he stood still and astonished, she vanished without a trace.

Submitted: Monday, June 15, 2009

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  • Rookie - 833 Points Soumita Sarkar (11/25/2013 6:43:00 AM)

    When fantasy touches the reality.......this can happen but not always...Good narration and unexpected twist...I invite you to read my lines.Thanks. (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 833 Points Soumita Sarkar (11/25/2013 6:41:00 AM)

    When the rock solid reality touches our floating dreams they do become crippled BUT not all.........nice poem....I invite you to Read my writes.Thanks. (Report) Reply

  • Bronze Star - 5,300 Points Geetha Jayakumar (8/21/2013 6:46:00 AM)

    Beautiful poem.. Each line is so beautifully portrayed...I loved it... Plus 10
    Everyday I will come to read your poems one by one... (Report) Reply

  • Freshman - 1,188 Points Kanniappan Kanniappan (6/20/2013 12:48:00 AM)

    The poem itself reveals everything, hence the detailed verse is not necessary.
    I studied in Manipal, Udipi and Mangalore during 1961 -68 where the girls were very beautiful, but since that area was endemic for filariasis, a very few may be suffering from elephantiasis leg. (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Sashka Salvatore (5/26/2013 7:59:00 AM)

    I have just finished reading each poem of yours and this is the one that has truly captured my imagination :) (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 2 Points Louis Cecile (4/11/2013 1:53:00 AM)

    This is an excellently woven poem with good pacing and imagery. I particularly like the use of lightening as a metaphor as the sudden and randomness of it fits well with the overall story. (Report) Reply

  • Veteran Poet - 3,842 Points Bri Edwards (12/30/2012 12:29:00 AM)

    though i was not thrilled by this poem, i did enjoy what you were expressing. i did not understand it completely until i read your explanation. i DO NOT agree with joe hughes' comments below. i certainly enjoy a poem which i understand without added explanation, but poemhunter does provide a separate place to write the poem's story and i am glad of it. i always write something in the story box. my wife says i just like to talk/type. BUT sometimes a little mystery can be a good thing in a poem.
    i DO believe joe h. wrote punish instead of publish in his comment. perhaps he should not submit a comment until he proofreads, reproofreads, and reproofreads! thnks for sharing.
    p.s. i DO partly agree with joe, in that i have found that poems i have written and ignored for a while can easily get better' in my opinion when i edit them, adding or subtracting here and there. (Report) Reply

  • Veteran Poet - 3,842 Points Bri Edwards (12/30/2012 12:27:00 AM)

    oops! i reproofread too late to see i left an A out of.....thanks.....for sharing....in my comment below. (Report) Reply

  • Veteran Poet - 3,842 Points Bri Edwards (12/30/2012 12:23:00 AM)

    though i was not thrilled by this poem, i did enjoy what you were expressing. i did not understand it completely until i read your explanation. i DO NOT agree with joe hughes' comments below. i certainly enjoy a poem which i understand without added explanation, but poemhunter does provide a separate place to write the poem's story and i am glad of it. i always write something in the story box. my wife says i just like to talk/type. BUT sometimes a little mystery can be a good thing in a poem.
    i DO believe joe h. wrote punish instead of publish in his comment. perhaps he should not submit a comment until he proofreads, reproofreads, and reproofreads! thnks for sharing.
    p.s. i DO partly agree with joe, in that i have found that poems i have written and ignored for a while can easily get better' in my opinion when i edit them, adding or subtracting here and there. (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 0 Points Frank (popeye) Pulver (10/8/2012 2:59:00 PM)

    Vijay, I am glad that you described your poem, because some people can see what your words are decsribing or trying to say. I really loved your poem. (Report) Reply

  • Rookie majid Alsaady (6/22/2010 1:21:00 PM)

    it is always nice to read vijay sai for the vivid lively pictures and the clever dealings
    it is not the girl who is crippled but the notion of the guy.the poet is telling us it is always a failure to fly in dreams forgetting the real life.thanks vijay (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Kaitlin Ivey (5/22/2010 5:52:00 PM)

    i have to say...this is amazing. Thank you so much for emailing me. I'm so inspired by writing just like you. (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Michael Brock (4/21/2010 8:22:00 AM)

    It is sad that we see things as you say in desire and dreams, when the reality is far different. We cannot make reality and dream one. The moment lost and we are the jetsam of the experience.

    Well written and it flow is very good.
    You have a way with words and using them visually.
    thanks for sharing
    Michael (Report) Reply

Read all 30 comments »

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