'Deprivation' Poem by Wali Jamali
'Deprivation'
A long time ago
I pledged to hand-over my body
To waves of mighty river Indus.
I wished
The river that blessed
The body of a sage
Shall embrace me.
Now
When i want to die
I have no pure place to jump into.
Where should i go?
The river has dried up.
How shall i be
Able to take my last eternal bath.
It's marveleous to write for an aime, respects and regards for your concern Xoubiya :) keep it up dear
In general I like the poem, there are some stylistic and linguistic things that you can consider, but I think that it may be a translation thing. The mood of the poem is poingnent and real and that is a good thing. My best advice to you, is to read, read, read! Read a lot of poems and keep writing. Good luck to you. -Eila
wonderful poem, xoubiya (how do you pronounce your name!) . we in india share your agony because the picture is very same here.
This poem has not been translated into any other language yet.
I would like to translate this poem
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5/6/2024 6:57:58 PM # 1.0.0.1119
its nice poem..very deep infact like sea :)