Fay Slimm

Rookie - 20 Points (Ageless. / in Cornwall U.K.)

He Is Gone. - Poem by Fay Slimm

Above the sad moan
.............................. of the naked trees.
Tnrough the pale leaf
..................... as it dances the breeze.
Into the breath of each
.............................. cool autumn dawn
I search for my lover,
..................................... but he is gone.


Behind each grey cloud
....................................as it scuttles by.
Under the blanket
................................ of velvet blue sky.
Between the brief
...................... glimpses of mellow sun
I search for my lover,
..................................... but he is gone.


Beyond the wide ocean
................................. and restless tide.
Over the verdant
......................... and high countryside.
Ahead of the journey
................................that's yet to come
I search for my lover,
..................................... but he is gone.


Inside the mem'ry
.............................of past happy days.
Below recent pain
................................in parting of ways.
Among the regrets
...................... which were dwelt upon
I search for my lover,
.................................... but he is gone.


Comments about He Is Gone. by Fay Slimm

  • Rookie Sandra Fowler (11/5/2009 7:01:00 AM)

    You have painted a lovely farewellscape.
    Even nature joins you in your elegiac
    lament. I love your refrain and your
    musical rhymes.

    Always your friend,

    Sandra (Report) Reply

    0 person liked.
    0 person did not like.
  • Rookie Carl Harris (11/4/2009 12:55:00 PM)

    This is vivid and deeply touching poem of lost love, Fay, one that's quite beautifully expressed in every line. I loved your use of repetition in this fine write, one of my own personal favorite techniques. It make a poem quite memorable and very effective in getting it's message across to a reader. You did that exceptionally well in this melancholy poem. Carl. (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Bob Gibson (11/1/2009 12:55:00 PM)

    A brilliant poem Fay! if i may say!
    saved in my favorite collection
    I voted it ten, from your golden pen
    from Bob with greatest affection (Report) Reply

  • Bronze Star - 2,223 Points David Harris (11/1/2009 12:18:00 PM)

    Fay, a beautiful but sad poem about the search for a loved one that has now gone. I loved the rhyme and the repeat of that last line through each stanza. Top marks and thanks for sharing this with us my friend.
    hugs David (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Susan Jarvis (11/1/2009 12:14:00 PM)

    Full of allusions to the beauty of nature which serve to highlight this heartfelt search. The adept use of repetition adds further poignancy to this beautiful poem. S :) (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Carol Gall (11/1/2009 11:57:00 AM)

    beautiful fay so lovely 10 (Report) Reply

Read all 6 comments »



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Poem Submitted: Sunday, November 1, 2009

Poem Edited: Monday, November 16, 2009


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