Treasure Island

Susan Sparks

(July 8,1957 / Fort Leavenworth, Kansas)

Ode to Menopause


Somebody please put out the fire-
These hot flashes are something I don't desire.
Oh God, why is this happening to me?
These hot flashes are turning me into
gourmet fricassee.

Actually, not gourmet-
I'd have to say
More like burnt toast
Or overdone weenie roast.

How hot could it possibly be?
Let me give you the recipe:
If HELL is as hot as this,
Then I'd prefer paralysis (or even dialysis.)

If you're hot, you're hot
And if you're not, you're not.
But if you feel like you're on a charcoal grill,
I'd suggest you take a giant chill pill.

When I break out in a tremendous sweat
Out goes my feminine etiquette.
I'll lift up my shirt to get fresh air.
If it embarrasses you I really don't care.

I'm having a hot flash right now;
At this moment I'm wiping my brow.
There's sweat pouring off of me.
Quite frankly, I'd rather be a HE.

Submitted: Wednesday, April 09, 2014
Edited: Thursday, April 10, 2014

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Topic(s): Humor

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Poet's Notes about The Poem

I wrote this a few years ago when I was going through menopause.

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