Valsa George


Reminiscences


I reached the station well on time
My train had arrived and stood ready
The place by then had become a sea of men
The crowd steadily swelling into an eddy

With my bag and baggage tucked under my seat
I waited impatiently for the train to leave
The departure, scheduled for early morn at four
Without any further delay, the engine started to heave

I sat lazily looking out, watching in the glare
The landscape gaining speed behind
Like a stallion, my mind raced back
With memories blowing in like wind

Yesterday evening the house was full
Many had come to see me off
My mother briskly moved up and down
Serving tea and snacks, ignoring her cough

For the first time, leaving the comfort of my home
I was venturing into the shark infested waters
And going to face life squarely
Wondering how my stay away, my life alters

By evening when everyone had left
I sat with my parents for an early dinner
The sumptuous meal so thoughtfully served
In no way, did my appetite trigger

Silent moments skipped by
The laboured attempts made by my Dad
To make the scene a little lively didn’t help
But to the grim air, did a pinch of melancholy add

After dinner with a heavy heart,
I withdrew to my room upstairs.
While still engaged in the last minute packing
I just chanced to look back unawares

There stood my mother behind the curtains
Looking at me with eyes welled
Under a strange urge I ran to her
In a tight embrace we stood with moments stilled

Kissing me a warm goodnight
Silently she walked away without a word
At the thought of a long separation
Unable to wink an eye, I lay unspeakably sad

I don’t know if I fell asleep!
When it was still dark, my mom woke me up
May be with the first ring of the alarm
And springing to my feet, I quickly got dressed

Gettting into the taxi waiting down
And waving an abrupt bye,
Ignoring the two sets of misty eyes
To an unknown destination, I did fly

With a jolt though the rumbling behemoth
Came to a halt, picking men from another station
Those, office bound and travelling far
It started once again chugging off to its destination

I knew it was the wee hours of the morn
Sunlight sneaked in through shades of grey
I could still feel the residual chill of the night
And couldn’t say if my mind was sad or gay

Submitted: Tuesday, February 18, 2014
Edited: Monday, April 21, 2014

Topic of this poem: journey


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  • Gold Star - 16,644 Points Akhtar Jawad (10/30/2014 2:32:00 AM)

    After departure of lovely guests, the house misses the glamours they had provided and the loneliness is felt even in the presence of usual inhabitants. A beautiful description of human mood. I am reminded of Shakespeare who said, nature changes according to the mood of the man............10 (Report) Reply

  • Veteran Poet - 3,896 Points Bri Edwards (4/20/2014 12:41:00 AM)

    I was venturing into the shark infested waters
    And going to face life squarely
    Wondering how my stay away, my life alters .....i liked how you managed to get alters to the end of the line!
    - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
    Silent moments skipped by
    The laboured attempts made by my Dad
    To make the scene a little lively didn’t help
    But to the grim air, did a pinch of melancholy add..............this is my favorite stanza so far. very nicely put! [i might put a comma after help. :)
    - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

    the ambivalence you felt at the end of the ride is understandable if your destination was a positive one for your life. i wonder WHAT it was, if this is an autobiographical poem.
    - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
    thanks for sharing your journey with us. it ended well, i assume. bri :) (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 421 Points Shahzia Batool (2/26/2014 1:12:00 AM)

    a happening poem Valsa ji, an eventful write up with a wonderful figurative touch, esp. i like the cadence in these lines:
    The landscape gaining speed behind
    Like a stallion, my mind raced back
    With memories blowing in like wind... (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 671 Points Rajesh Thankappan (2/25/2014 10:31:00 AM)

    I loved the poem not only for its rich evocative images but also for reminding us about the trials and tribulations one has to bridge in life in order to become successful. And of Mother's love, ah! it is always pure and sweet. (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 984 Points Kee Thampi (2/25/2014 5:31:00 AM)

    poetry is a silent kiss to the woods...
    here poetess made it in words of sad
    ''Kissing me a warm goodnight
    Silently she walked away without a word
    At the thought of a long separation
    Unable to wink an eye, I lay unspeakably sad....' (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 635 Points Nika Mcguin (2/23/2014 4:15:00 PM)

    Both captivating and sad, I love that this poem doesn't favor either happiness or sadness more than the other. Though I've never experienced this kind of milestone, Its painted so clearly. It feels like i just watched this scene in a movie.

    ~Nika (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 148 Points Joseph Anderson (2/23/2014 1:02:00 PM)

    At my age I love those nostalgic memories. this is sweetly reverant. Valsa -you do
    well in rhymning mode-smooth and ever flowing-this is both sad and poignant (Report) Reply

  • Veteran Poet - 2,884 Points Hazel Durham (2/23/2014 11:04:00 AM)

    So beautifully written with your memories of the warmth and love of your family that you leave behind as you start on a new beginning in an unknown world you feel sad at so much you have left behind and excited at your new adventure. Written with great detail and insight! (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 18 Points Suman Kumar Das (2/23/2014 10:06:00 AM)

    I saw a moving film.......unforgettable reminiscences, Dear Madam..............I really enjoyed it. Thanks for sharing such wonderful ink! (Report) Reply

  • Freshman - 1,505 Points Dinesh Nair (2/23/2014 12:08:00 AM)

    When reminiscences venture to tell tales beautiful
    The listeners are glued to the one enthralling and enlightening them.
    When Ms Valsa George reminisces for herself but sings her tale of melancholy pleasant
    Here are we all to travel in her compartment of the train specially run by a nostalgic past half -sweet.
    A beautiful and moving write Valsa madam. (Report) Reply

  • Freshman - 1,551 Points Hans Vr (2/22/2014 10:10:00 PM)

    Good rhyming scheme. Wonderful content.
    Quite often our calling is so strong, it makes us leave our comfort zone, our loved ones.
    Our calling to fulfil our ultimate soul task is stronger than anything else.
    Good Poem. (Report) Reply

  • Veteran Poet - 4,016 Points Khairul Ahsan (2/22/2014 12:20:00 AM)

    This is a wonderful poem bringing back to the twilight mind the reminiscences of the younger days, the subtle, bitter sweet feelings associated with a fledgling's first flight out of the nest, the mother bird watching and hiding her tears. She knows that it is her maiden flight to a far away distance, but essentially a flight of necessity. The feelings of those few last hours, of yourself and your mom and dad have been so eloquently narrated that the reader can clearly see the scene.
    I remember, when I left home for a distant place for studies (I was thirteen at that time) , my mother cooked my favorite dishes of various kinds. But the meals weren't going down my throat, I felt a lump inside and somehow swallowed.
    Your poem reminds me of memories of my journeys by train in those days. If I may ask, quoting from your poem,
    'Without any further delay, the engine started to heave' - Was it one of those black, coal-powered steam engines? In my childhood days, our locomotive engines were like that.
    'Yesterday evening the house was full
    Many had come to see me off' - Was this journey undertaken to reach your place of study, or was it your journey to the in laws' home after marriage?
    'I could still feel the residual chill of the night
    And couldn’t say if my mind was sad or gay' - So well said. The usual, natural feeling expected to pervade the mind in moments like this.
    Finally, a word of thanks to all the readers who shared their beautiful thoughts here. I liked all your words, dear fellow poets! (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 81 Points Vivek Tiwari (2/20/2014 5:59:00 AM)

    Nostalgic
    and the sense bold attempt to keep the way up is superb.
    Mother's love is just hidden but above all accumulation.
    10/10 (Report) Reply

  • Silver Star - 9,962 Points Soulful Heart (2/20/2014 4:31:00 AM)

    As the moment the mother bird lets her fledgling to test her own wings and glide away from the nest.... misty eyesthat keep flashing all our life to make us feel someone still ther watching behind d curtain so that we can find her whenever we need...so melancholic (Report) Reply

  • Gold Star - 13,121 Points Deepak Kumar Pattanayak (2/20/2014 12:12:00 AM)

    There stood my mother behind the curtains looking at me with eyes welled.......Valsa.........only mother, separation
    she could feel and the residual chill of the night as reminiscences will you ever grill.........I read your poems line by line to grasp feelings......very touching indeed............. (Report) Reply

  • Veteran Poet - 3,543 Points Tirupathi Chandrupatla (2/19/2014 4:43:00 PM)

    Kissing me a warm goodnight
    Silently she walked away without a word
    Concern of the mother in the above lines, expressing something without expressing in words
    When it was still dark, my mom woke me up
    Then mother wants bright future for the child to prepare the child to go on time not to miss the train.
    Beautiful poem full of feelings. Thank you. (Report) Reply

Read all 23 comments »

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