'The Nightingale Sang Too Early' Poem by ajith patnaik

'The Nightingale Sang Too Early'

Rating: 5.0


(this poem provides a right mesage which respects the fact that 'u should wait for the right time to strike')

a nightingale sang too early
it thought the shiny blanket of snow
to be the petals of jasmine
the sound coming through the caves
when the cool wind blows through
sounded like the horn
marking the beginning of the spring
forget did the nightingale
about the sorrows of winter
the tears that matter in the shiny eyes of hers
she forgot the grief of staying alone and still
the memories of flocking together
made her heart beat a few times more and
pump blood a few drops more
and sing the song a few seconds more
she sang, she flew inspite of all the dew
eventhough she couldnt fly
eventhough no one stood by
moments passed, mountains covered
but the exhaust and the pain
of the chill and the thoughts
dried the oil in her heart
and she dropped down with pain
she realised the soundness of the word 'PATIENCE'
she realised that she should wait
for the time which is right
for us to come out of dark
and return to light

COMMENTS OF THE POEM
Dr Hitesh Sheth 23 December 2008

Right to wait and strike, This is a secret lesson of life................. Good Work.............

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XXxxKimberleyxxXX .. 23 December 2008

nice work and youy have put some effort into it its way better than my peoms :) 10++++++++++++++++++++

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Jessica Rose 23 December 2008

this is really amazing! keep writing! Jess xx

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Ency Bearis 25 December 2008

I agree with Anju...bravoooo! ! ! !

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Alison Cassidy 01 January 2009

This is very good writing Ajith. Thank you for asking me to comment. Firstly may I suggest that you leave out the opening sentence you offer by way of explanation. You don't need it. The poem speaks very clearly. And I'd change the title too - I'd call it 'The Nightingale Sang too Early'. It's a much more lyrical title for a poem with an uplifting moral theme as well as an interesting and original harmonic structure. I look forward to reading more of your poetry. You have quite a gift. Love, Allie ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

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*Trusting You* 30 December 2008

she forgot the grief of staying alone and still the memories of flocking together made her heart beat a few times more and pump blood a few drops more this is fantastic! ! ! I love it! ! sometimes the hardest thing is to wait. well done. *Crystal Midnight*

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Sulaiman Mohd Yusof 28 December 2008

May the waiting is fruitful and thus will not abuse the right to wait.Nice writes Ajith.

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Seema Aarella 26 December 2008

A philosophical creation, inspiring to read, it certainly alerts our selves to the certain point of veiw that you have chosen to convey!

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Ajith This is a poem of beauty and philosophy. Than you.....Karin Anderson

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