Shahzia Batool

Rookie - 416 Points (Pakistan)

The Sun Rises in The Eyes!


After a long composed travel
the eve approaches by and by
spreading its shades on everything
of cottage yard
when the queen of night
spreads its fragrance
when the moon ascends
on the distant horizons
the stars get kindled with a glow
then the phase of night
just comes on wane
the stars take their leave
bidding their byes
and the sun rises in the eyes
shifting the glow to dawn on skies!

Submitted: Monday, August 05, 2013
Edited: Thursday, August 29, 2013

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  • Rookie Passionate Reader (8/28/2013 12:26:00 PM)

    Every night is followed by a BRIGHT MORNING and yes, as you said, the sun rises in the eyes, shifting the glow to dawn on skies! ! !
    lovely work! ! !
    Blessings
    :) (Report) Reply

  • Gold Star - 33,497 Points Aftab Alam Khursheed (8/18/2013 11:09:00 AM)

    Beautiful lines although all lines are marvelled but the last line so fantastically you compose sis can't tell the sun rises in the eyes , shifting the glow to dawn on skies! 10 (Report) Reply

  • Gold Star - 12,028 Points Valsa George (8/7/2013 8:13:00 AM)

    A beautiful description of the gradual transition of a twilight evening to the glow of dawn! The sun rising in the eyes and shifting its glow to the dawn has wider poetic dimensions! A great write Shahzia! ! (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 781 Points Thomas A Robinson (8/6/2013 5:14:00 AM)

    As a warm summer night should be as we bid farewell to another night's effort.
    Then relucktantly turn toward the dawn, rise and move un. (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 501 Points Tribhawan Kaul (8/6/2013 2:31:00 AM)

    The poem brings hope alive. Night is associated with everything negative and the dawn with everything positive. A beautiful penning. Happy writing. (Report) Reply

  • Gold Star - 10,433 Points Ramesh Rai (8/5/2013 5:44:00 PM)

    xlent beautiful write. i admire your imaginatiion n writing power. amazing write (Report) Reply

  • Gold Star - 10,433 Points Ramesh Rai (8/5/2013 5:42:00 PM)

    xlent beautiful write. i admire your imaginatiion n writing power. amazing write (Report) Reply

  • Gold Star - 10,433 Points Ramesh Rai (8/5/2013 5:41:00 PM)

    xlent beautiful write. i admire your imaginatiion n writing power. amazing write (Report) Reply

  • Veteran Poet - 3,502 Points Tirupathi Chandrupatla (8/5/2013 5:18:00 PM)

    the sun rises in the eyes
    shifting the glow to dawn on skies!
    As Heather Wilkins pointed out, the last two lines is a masterly rendering. Beautiful. (Report) Reply

Read all 11 comments »

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