Vijay Sai

Rookie - 31 Points (30 12 1975 / Trichy, South India)

Yellow bird


An yellow bird
In rainbow feathers
Pecking strawberry fruit
Smelling jasmine flowers
Beads so bold
Looking here and there
Singing solitary sonnets
Why so pensive
Is your soliloquy?
Scintillating singer you are
Sing your lullabies
We want to rest our souls!

Submitted: Saturday, April 17, 2010

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  • Gold Star - 10,094 Points * Sunprincess * (11/11/2012 10:59:00 PM)

    love hearing the birds chirping when i am laying down resting
    also..spring is the best time to open the window., especially
    early in the day..just like a symphony so nice to hear..fabulous. :) (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Gan Chennai (5/24/2010 7:15:00 AM)

    Nice Poem, I have enjoyed it in reality. I have recorded these sweet melodious voices in my mobile also together with the Paper Buyer shouting 'Paaaaaaaper, Paiiiiiiiiiiiper'. That is also interesting. Everything natural is so so so wonderful whether it is Bird singing or Paper Buyer shouting. We should know to enjoy. It's all in the Mind. You have it. (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Michael Brock (4/21/2010 8:01:00 AM)

    Beautifully written with intense and clear meaning. A good flow, and visual wording,

    thanks for sharing
    Michael (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Jodie Pollock (4/21/2010 7:28:00 AM)

    i like the last line.. sounds like your tired of whatever is happening and want it to end so you can rest.. very emotional and i imagine a very pretty picture.. thank you for sharing.. well done x (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 0 Points Kolawole Ajao (4/19/2010 9:39:00 AM)

    Nice poem, nice lineation. Change the first word in the first line to A(if you like.) You can leave it like that if you want(remember poets have what is called poetic licence?) (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Greenwolfe 1962 (4/17/2010 8:35:00 PM)

    The opening word really should be 'a.' This is the only error as such. The virtue of this piece is that it is very short and concise. Though it might even be shorter still. The best poetry is 'almost' always the shortest. You might want to look at this poem with that in mind. The problem, of course, is that beauty is sometimes sacrificed in this process. Whatever you do though, you never sacrifice beauty in order to shorten a poem. So. my advice is to take your time examining your poem to satisfy yourself that you cannot shorten it without sacrificing beauty. If you find you can't, then leave it as it is. It is a well done piece of writing as it is. My compliments to you. -- Greenwolfe 1962 (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 0 Points Guardian of Night (4/17/2010 3:06:00 PM)

    This is a very good poem. I know that my friends 'He Who Is Called Death, Girl Who Lives In Hell, Lunar Phantom, and The Devil From Hell' will love to read it. They love these kind of poems. You should read a few of there's, I think you'll like them. Maybe you could read some of my poems. They are really good. (Report) Reply

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