In the forest of our hearts,
the paths are overgrown,
tangled with thorns
and the whispers of storms
...
I am a candle
burning,
but too thin to last,
too soft to withstand the storm.
...
I buried myself a thousand times more
each grave unmarked, each death just another closed door.
I died in the lies you breathed to my face,
in every twisted truth, every fall from grace.
...
The memories gone, the rooms left bare,
the echoes of love still linger there.
When you took all I had, left me stripped and lost,
it never crossed your mind who'd pay the cost.
...
Love always came, but never in my size.
Too big to hold, slipping through my fingers,
or too small, choking me in its seams.
I wore it anyway
...
Beyond the tracks
where the streetlights twitch like dying neurons,
and the pavement bleeds secrets no one wants to know
veins map escape routes,
...
i miss all the things.
the before things.
the untouched things.
the innocent things
...
Daniel Ryan Cotler was born on April 3,1982, in West Palm Beach, Florida. He is a renowned poet, author, and advocate, particularly known for his work in the field of abuse recovery. Cotler's life has been marked by extraordinary resilience; he is a nine-time suicide attempt survivor and a survivor of narcissistic abuse. Cotler's poetry is at the heart of his advocacy and personal healing journey. He has published over 300 poems, many of which delve deeply into themes of pain, resilience, and recovery from narcissistic abuse. His poetry is known for its raw and vulnerable expression, capturing the depth of his emotions and the resilience of his spirit. His verses often explore the complexities of human relationships, the pain of betrayal, and the journey towards healing. One of his notable poems, " The First Time I Saw Behind the Mask, " poignantly addresses the emotional turmoil and cognitive dissonance experienced in narcissistic abuse. This poem, like many others, serves as a cathartic outlet for Cotler's emotions and a beacon of hope for other survivors. His poetry is a testament to the transformative power of creativity and self-expression, providing a lifeline to those struggling with similar experiences. In addition to his poetry, Cotler is an active writer on platforms like Quora and Medium, where he shares his insights and experiences with a broader audience. His writings on these platforms cover a range of topics, including mental health, abuse recovery, and personal empowerment. Through his blog and other online writings, Cotler reaches millions of people globally, offering support and guidance to those struggling with similar issues. Cotler is the visionary behind the HealLoudly movement, a transformative initiative dedicated to empowering survivors of narcissistic abuse. His work reaches over 100 million people globally through his blog, podcast, and the Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Community. He has written over 200 blog articles, and his Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Community blog and podcast is ranked 8th in the world by Feedspot for narcissistic abuse recovery. He is the best-selling author of two critically acclaimed books: " Voiceless: A Silent Epidemic of Suicide Due to Narcissistic Abuse" and 'My Heartbreak Diary: My Journey Healing from Narcissistic Abuse.' These works offer profound insights and practical advice for survivors, providing a lifeline to those struggling with the aftermath of narcissistic abuse. His writing is a testament to the power of reclaiming one's narrative and finding strength through vulnerability. Despite facing immense challenges, including false accusations and smear campaigns, Cotler has remained committed to speaking out and supporting others. His fearless and vocal approach serves as a beacon of hope, showing that it is possible to overcome adversity and reclaim one's life. By sharing his story and advocating for others, Cotler demonstrates that healing loudly can lead to profound personal and collective transformation. When Daniel decided to heal loudly, he was looking at many years in prison. His abuser filed false charges against him and made up the most horrific false crimes. He went against everybody's advice to be quiet but found that healing loudly was the only way he could do this. It was a defiant stand against his abusers, asserting that if they were going to try to destroy his life with lies, he would bury them with the truth. His outcome could have been very different, but winning his legal battles and reclaiming his narrative was crucial not just for him but for the many who looked up to him for hope in a world where many will never see justice. His victories have been a resounding victory for the community, showing that it is possible to fight back and win. Daniel Ryan Cotler's work is not just about surviving; it's about thriving and helping others do the same. His commitment to healing loudly has touched countless lives, offering a path to empowerment and justice for survivors of narcissistic abuse. Through his books, poetry, and advocacy, Daniel continues to inspire and lead a movement that challenges societal norms and promotes healing and resilience. A Message to My Readers: Narcissistic abuse is an insidious, slow destruction of a person's soul. It's not like a normal relationship or breakup; it's a silent epidemic where people suffer in the shadows, often without realizing they're being abused. The feelings that victims experience—overwhelming hopelessness and isolation—can drive many to consider or even commit suicide. These suicides, often a direct result of narcissistic abuse, are severely underreported. Every day, people lose their lives because they are, in effect, murdered by a narcissist, who then moves on undetected to their next victim, continuing the cycle of abuse. If you are in a relationship with a narcissist or any abusive relationship, I want you to know that there is hope, and there is a life free from abuse. What you are going through is not a reflection of your worth or value. You are deserving of love and a life free from the horrors of narcissistic abuse. It may feel like nobody knows or understands what you're enduring, but I promise you, there is a whole community that does understand and is ready to support you. If you are in immediate danger, please prioritize your safety and reach out for help. Your life with the narcissist will never get better, and your safety is at risk. If you're feeling suicidal, please call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 988, or dial 911 if you are in immediate danger. Your life is too precious, and the world needs your light. Keep fighting. Keep living. There is love and joy yet to be found.)
Through The Canopy Of Forgotten Woods
In the forest of our hearts,
the paths are overgrown,
tangled with thorns
and the whispers of storms
we weathered in silence.
Once, there was a sunbeam,
a laughter that danced like dandelion seeds,
but the walls we built
bricks of shame and doubt
rose high,
a fortress against the world,
yet also against ourselves.
We wander,
lost in a maze of our own making,
the echoes of yesterdays
wrapped in ivy,
binding us to the shadows.
It is there, amid the thick underbrush,
that we search for the child we buried,
the one who once ran barefoot
through fields of wildflowers,
the one who believed
the sky was a blanket
woven with dreams.
And the day comes,
like the first thaw of spring,
when we feel the warmth seep
through the cracks in our armor,
when the memories of cruel winters
begin to melt,
revealing a tender sapling,
fragile yet fierce,
waiting for the rain
of our own kindness.
We hold our inner child,
a bud still unbloomed,
cradled in the palms of forgiveness.
We whisper softly,
'You are safe here,
you are enough.'
And as the voices of the past fade,
their echoes dissipating
like mist in morning light,
we build a sanctuary,
not of walls,
but of meadows,
where laughter can roam free
and joy can grow wild.
Here, in this sacred space,
we learn to validate the whispers,
the fears, the longings,
letting them unfurl like petals
under the sun,
realizing that healing is not a destination
but the return to a garden
that was ours all along.
In the embrace of our own heart,
we find the lost child,
and together, we breathe,
together, we bloom,
together, we forge a path
where the thorns give way
to the softness of understanding,
and every step forward
is a step toward home.
Copyright ©️ 2024 Daniel Ryan Cotler
Keep fighting, keep living, for there is love and joy yet to be found.
No one falls in love faster than a narcissist that doesn't have a job, doesn't have a car, and needs a place to live.
Love doesn't hollow you out and call itself salvation.
When people show you who they are the first time, believe them. Don't give them a second, third, or fourth chance to abuse you.