ko ko thett Poems

it's good
not to understand the circumstances
not being able to grasp the fourth-language commentaries
why they always throw the pain across the pitch
right into your chest
or how they shin you even in the injury time
what a turf specialist has to say about the carpet or
how humidity affects your footsie!
when men are numbered 0 to 10
man resorts to paraphilia
man turns into character actor
salary commensurate with skill
a french knife can cut through a swiss cheese without sweat
but isn't football, being football,
an extraordinarily roundish thing,
shouldn't the referee always trust her linesman?
you don't want to harp on about Bach to a buffalo
you can't explain law 11 to the uninitiated
you can't unscore your own goal
i regret to inform you
you have everything but leg luck
the principle of short passes works
only when you are well-linked,
and wicked
...

[when you end up somewhere you don't want to be]

eat it like a durian
eat it like someone who'd puke at the mere mention of a durian
you are marooned on durian island
you despise both its shape and soldier-sock stench
you will wait until you can't wait any longer
eat or die, now you can be the primate you've always been
smash open the thorny husk against a rock
dig your digits deep into the succulent pulp
you don't want to look at it, you don't want to smell it
hold your breath or block your nose
shove the flesh down your throat
you will get used to it


[when you are in transit]

eat it walking like you would a box of noodles
it takes better psychomotor skills than piloting a jet
your fingers have to know your chopsticks
your feet have to know your walk
your mouth has to know your bite
you have to know your way

zebra crossings, red lights, green lights, yellow lights, dogs being walked,
bicycles whizzing by, policewomen, window displays, functionalist buildings,
fashionable locals . . .

only humans, and a few other alien species, can eat on their feet
locate a bin when your sticks get close to the bottom of the box
trash the empty box, walk on


[when you end up in a remote location with your lover
who has bought you the tickets behind your spouse's back]

you know the scenario
the most pleasurable trip
you've got it gratis
you cherish both the journey and the destination
now you must be a slow tourist

you don't want to hurry and finish your paid annual leave
you won't share it with anyone
you don't want it gone,
you don't want it dognapped by the big bully at home

you must be discreet
if you fail, you'll become an insufferable social outcast
if you succeed, you're a lifelong prisoner of your own secret


[when you aren't sure why you're there in the first place]

eat it like a fish who nibbles but won't take the bait
the bloody piece of earthworm is tempting
unless you want to understand the worm's agony
you don't want to snatch him
you might as well be generous for once

let others go first
see how tightly hooked your snack is
see the line, see the knot, see the float, see the sun,
size up the angler through the rippled shadow of his lure's weight

in this scenario
you may be fed, but you won't be filled
...

a team of brahmins with impaired vision examines the royal white elephant . . .


[brahmin the biologist happens to feel the trunk and passes his judgment]

fuzzy-furred, red-eyed, wet-nosed, and tactile
it's not an ingrown toenail, it's not a french poodle, it's not a walrus
it has excellent olfactory perception
it has a pair of blowholes on its head

this serpent knows how to slither down a snake pit
how to pace up and down the eyebrows of society
how to steal up on an oiled bamboo pole, how to logroll, how to spell

i'm not talking about my eldest son
gentlemen, what we have here is a pachyderm
a very, very delicate animal


[brahmin the numerologist holds the tusks in his hands and delivers
his assessment]

these two enormous phalli are genuine godsends
they are as sharp as the number 8, as silky as 8
as generously proportioned as 8
as reassuring as the number 8 . . .
8 or killjoy
8 is the repository of sacred wisdom
8 is the lucky number for growth
8 is above karmic consequence
8 is for elected, eight is for re-elected
8 is blue cheese in the southern hemisphere
8 is fish paste in the northern hemisphere
8 is a big push, eight is perpetual peace
8 can protect you from four sorts of harm
8 can deliver you from five types of foes
8 can bring you all two thousand spices
8 will bless you with thirty-eight auspices
8 thousand dollars a month, fine by me


[brahmin the economist bumps into the elephant's tummy]

ceteris paribus, it may be a bull, it may be a bear
it may be a free rider in free trade for a free lunch
this means the mean reversion may or may not be inevitable

if corruption is her comparative advantage
we are a pack of complementary goods to this wholesome mammal
it's full of animal spirits and antitrusts, within the limits
of bounded rationality, it might or might not behave as i expected

shall we call it a colossal contagion, just like us,
this monster has stomached so many moral hazards
then again, in the long run we all are dead


[brahmin the commander sniffs around the elephant's hindquarters]

if it feels like a trojan horse, if it stinks like a trojan horse
if it quacks like a trojan horse, it is a trojan horse

— oppose those relying on external elements, acting as stooges, holding
negative views
— oppose those trying to jeopardize the stability of the state and progress
of the nation
— oppose foreign nations interfering in internal affairs of the state
— crush all internal and external destructive elements as the common enemy

deny, delay, deceive, disrupt, destroy
uphold the national cause, get ready for a total people's defence


[the brahmin who is never there]

thank you for your message, i am currently out of the office
i will get back to you as soon as possible
...

for zeyar lynn
it isn't sweet or salty
it isn't sour or bitter
it's somewhere in between
somewhere from above

it's umami
the savory delight of monosodium glutamate
the buddha's poop that has colonized our cuisines since 1908
the inducer of droll and drivel, that sensation of furriness on the tongue
the teaser to the throat, the softener to the hard palate
the loveless lover to the lingual tonsil
the made-in-japan-chinese-restaurant syndrome
the diamond powder, the tortoise hair, the hare horn
recognized safe for the general population
no serious adverse reactions
no long-lasting effects

only an imperishable aftertaste
from myeik mohinga to houston beef jerky
from kaesŏng instant noodle to lima pachamanca
from the shrimp cocktail of nasa astronauts in space to
the food-aid package in east africa
even the inuit imbue their whales, walruses and seals with an essence of taste
the seasoning for all seasons
the most addictive of additives
the non-essential you can't live without
the acid you yearn to lick every second
the undecided neurotransmitter
the enhancer of life's flavors
the condiment to contemporary conditions

no wonder then
99 percent of humanity is over-ajinomotoed
the rest is under-ajinomotoed
if you are a 1-kilogram rat
15 grams of the sweet dust is your lethal oral dose
it works 50 percent of the time
...