a magician saws me in two and opens me up Poem by Charlotte Van den Broeck

a magician saws me in two and opens me up
to the audience, my empty trunk revealed after the night, after the battle
in which I became a general and a mortal, lost ground and organs
forgot you because of the trumpets from the parade inside of me
looking back I could already see how you'd take your coat off the rack
a small final gesture, disappointment between your shoulder blades
and still I marched further into the depths, past the submerged rock
where I dissolved in repentance - of course, what else would I dissolve into
if not a groaning sound? it betrays me on stage
everyone looks, I blurt out ‘darling' and ‘wrong' and
‘forgive me', but the applause goes on forever
afterwards no one sews me up