Sunday, March 5, 2006

A Man And His Music ~ A Dedication To Joe Comments

Rating: 5.0

The lights flash across the stage
And from the left he enters and waves
The crowd stands and screams his name
He nods his head and a smile touches his lips
...
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Sara Turner
COMMENTS
Martha J. Eshelman-Smith 05 March 2006

Nice use of detail. However, I would like a word choice that is a little less predictable. For example, the third line of the next-to-last-stanza's image of weaving a story is 'predictable.' The third line of the final stanza 'real as the sunshine on the lake' is an unpredictable and interesting image - one that I truly enjoy mulling over. It is so open to multiple meaning.

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Sara Turner

Sara Turner

Scarborough, Ontario Canada
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