A Painting With My Face And A Frozen Heart In A See Through Case. Poem by Edgard Canales

Standing here perplexed
I have this pain inside my chest.
People crying in this room,
Doesn't sound like tears of joy,
but I will find out soon.
Everyone is dressed in black
and that could only mean one thing,
someone has lost a loved one and a friend.
In my mind, to this person,
I say good bye
because in this life, we live to die.
So much sadness in the air
for this person they really cared.
Wait, did I know this person?
I must have,
because the Preacher from my poems is quoting versus.
Screaming and pulling out their hair,
With knots in their throats
My family, the pain they can not bare.
Goose bumps running down my back
I don't know who it is, so I don't know how to act.
Curious of who this is
In my mind I'm going down a list
Everyone is here,
so who could I have missed?
Turn towards my sisters, Zoy and Ti
ignoring me they just scream & weep.
People passing by my chair
it's like I'm not even there.
Quietly sit there just to realize
it was me who was missing
it is me who has lost his life.
No! This can not be
I can not be deceased.
For myself I have to find this out
'I can not be dead' at the top of my lungs
I give a shout.
To my shout no one seems to listen
from my list, IT IS ME that is missing.
I can't breath,
scared and my hands are shaking
can't believe it but some how my life has been taken.
Look up from my seat to see the casket
All white, adorned with flower baskets.
walk up to see
thinking, 'maybe this is just a dream'.
As I make my way down the isle
thoughts popping in my head
from when I was a child.
Memories of the past
Playing ninja, Ivy broke my hand and I had to where a cast.
I went to Douglass with Zoy every single day
with me she always felt safe.
Titi, I hold you dear to my heart
no matter how many miles we are far apart.
My little brother By
he knows when I be stressing deep inside.
Chris, Matt, Nat & Miya
Fill my heart with happiness
even though I can not see ya.
Guess, I have to face it,
say good bye to friends, family and both my babies.
Again, I have a pain inside my chest
again, slowly I loose my breath.
I have to rip open my shirt
can't take this agony and hurt.
Reached the casket to look inside...
just a painting with my face
and a frozen heart in a see through case.
What is this? what can this mean?
I knew it, this is just a dream.
Not just a dream but a metaphor
Help me intrepid my dreams, Oh' Lord....
The painting in a casket means
despite the distance
I will forever be near,
so to my loved ones
I ask please, for me shed no more tears.
And the frozen heart inside a see through case
so you can see the pain caused by cold and lonely wars
fought by me for better days...