A Plea To My Heart... Poem by xolisa stuurman

I can‘t give up on love.
Though twice this heart has been torn in half.
Bled until blood could squeeze no more.
Moving vigorously for another chance to feel,
Yearning for that unique emotion which brought this heart to life.

Twisted its tubes and vessels in all directions.
Its aorta blocked with tears as they tumble inward through chains of cells.
Descending where this heart begin to beat.
Sucking away each tear as it drops, whilst soothing the pain of rejection more than love itself.
That of endless, yet needless questions diffused with hope and lost dreams that once were…

Collecting dust from past that mould a cloud of confusion.
Breeding and brew more hurt as I fail to comprehend an episode,
I‘ve gazed on pyramids of life, but was never prepared.

Who was I to think this drama would pass and live me composed?
So real I wish it was a dream, so vivid I know it’s alive as each breath I take is exhaled with pain.
Who am I not to give up?
And win this battle with a smile.
My heart won’t be in it, so the victory will be mine.
And the pain would be a thousand mile.
Who am I not to give up?
And discover experiments those of defense mechanism against love.
Sacrifice of my heart would have no place of existence.
Feelings will impact on nothingness.
No lessons to learn to cope with love.
No plots of possible missions.
No tears to drain, so they don’t fall on these hands.
Imagine no place for loneliness.

This noble act in the name of love would favor my strength before my weakness.
This child in me would burn, but never submit to ashes.
Instead this child would rise as rain pours smothering the heat.
Remember it would hurt, scars would be visible, but one day none would matter when all begin to make sense.
Just as the body function so will every foreign or new mark naturally become.

Who am I not to give up?
When someone steals something that desire to be stolen.
How could I judge the thief when the owner approves of the crime?
Yet the only mistake I committed was to give my heart.
I ask maybe mine was not adequet or worthy to gain love.
Maybe my heart was growing too old for your love.
Maybe it grew too fond of your love.
I know of people who grow apart or grow together, most time I’ve learnt it is one heart that seeks to be alone so it could be found by another.
Alert me oh God, when distance keeps pushing between hearts.
Help my heart to prepare a journey unknown
Lead me not into temptations of Ungodly ways
But deliver me into a heart that beats for mine

As painful as it is, still I stand tall.
I can’t give up on love, Yes it’s hard to give up on love.