A Taugenichts Poem by Louise Tredoux

My life is meaningless until I assign meaning to it
the world is meaningless too until I assign meaning
to it – today I applied for a job and didn’t get it, I
assigned meaning to life in terms of my getting
a job, being good enough, and I wasn’t

I don’t want to show my broken heart to Rudi –
what does my life mean – I cannot bring honour
and glory to him, I can’t bring anything worthwhile
home, I was meant to be a char, washing floors
and dusting houses

I’m a Taugenichts, a good- for-nothing, just fit for
consuming food and oxygen while giving
nothing back

I must practice smiling before Rudi sees me,
at least I can try to support him with positivity,
though it is too late to really serve in any
practical way; I feel so sad, sitting next
to the sea, so useless, so meaningless...