A Traumatizing Moment Poem by Yvonne Eve831

The morning of 10-05-07 I received a phone call
After hearing the news over the phone I was at my wits end
I was devastated and disgusted, drowning on my inside tears, couldn't talk, couldn't think
A sudden melancholy came over me and I was intoxicated from ingesting the fumes of the intolerable bad news
Why my daughter, what really happened,
when did it actually happen and where are the real killers
I was beginning to feel unbalanced and a little perturbed
I dropped the phone, yelled out, then cried
My supervisor, Kim, took the phone from me had me sit in the chair in her office
I was so weak, I was wobbly and felt withered so fell in the chair
I crumbled as I cried with craziness going through my head but I finally pulled myself together
My supervisor continued trying to console me but I was just numb
When you're numb, consoling doesn't work
Her manager heard me and ran into Kim's office to see what was going on
She heard the news and then she started crying like a baby
My supervisor called my cousin, Bird, at work and let's her know the situation and asked her to come get me because I was disoriented
The news I received was that my oldest daughter, Tammy, was found dead along side of her fiancee, Kerry
Tammy was my first born of six children
They had a beautiful daughter, Erica, who was about twenty at the time
All the consoling in the world would not help this situation
My heart was crushed beyond compare at this point
She was special to us all but everyone would fall in love with her
Im normally calm, collective, cheerful
NOT at this point in time, I was lost
I felt kind of inchoate and a little doleful
I was full of ire
My lachrymose became uncontrollable at times
Once my cousin, Bird, arrive we left a little later to go to the scene of the crime
Tammy and Kerry were found dead at Kerry's father's house that was being renovated
I felt no silver lining in the near future
To this day there has been no silver lining because we still don't know what happened
Once we arrived I was aggregated, I was agitated, annoyed and about to explode
I felt delusions, totally dysfunctional and everyday seemed distorted
There were TV cameras all around and newscasters everywhere
My cousin and I made our way through the hustle and bustle
We went to the back of the house where they would be bringing the bodies out
To me they were a little obscure about what was going on
I lost it when I saw her body coming out in the black bag but my cousin was holding me together
They were a little reckless handling the removal of the bodies
I felt a little algophobia coming on and it felt unbearable
I was feeling a little bristling
By the time the vehicles arrived to pick up the bodies I was numb from everything else
I felt like a silhouette hanging on a wall
No feelings, no reactions, just nothing
I was in an dilitory state of mind
I was stigmatized by the entire ordeal and the way it was handled
Kerry's mom felt the same way
I sat in a chair in the yard and observed the oscillation of the bodies as they entered them in the vehicles
Our complaints were mere derision which aggregated me and my cousin
Listening to their sorry excuses was like listening to a nocturne of Chopin if you know music
This was just the beginning of our nightmare and nothing has been resolve this day
We had no closure, no comfort, no clarity of the circumstances at all
Jesus Will never let you down but justice will jerk you around because there's no justification in this jagged system