Absence Poem by Louise Marie DelSanto

Absence

Rating: 5.0


In the afternoon I think of this word
thinking of ways I can feel
the bite of this definition
And I search for its meaning

It feels like I am
walking outside without
my coat on a frigid day
My body not understanding
without my mind knowing

The sun is shining between
the pines and a slight wind is
pushing out March snowflakes,
the dizziness of a cascade above me
and all around me

I pick up the picture of my
grandchild and say her name
as if it is a new word I must master

I remember and celebrate
every Friday, the day of her birth
and the smell of her blood, the
salty, red liquid on the sheets,
the cheesy coating in the folds of her skin
and then I remember her first cry

I listen to the way I say her name
in the coldness of this afternoon
A song of line after line without
resolution of meaning, without
an aptitude of calculating moments

I feel the weight of absence
in my chest
I take a deep breath and wish it away
and wish it away
And later when I try to sleep
Her name is the pillow for my head.
And then I know what absence is.

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