After You Poem by Samujjwal Dey

I shall seek my redemption,
In the love I had to lose.
For I am all alone living in seclusion;
Carrying a burden too great for my shoulders.
For I was ignorant,
To know how precious you were,
To know what you meant, when you were there.
I never looked back, when you called me.
I never saw you, the way you saw me.
And when at last, in front of my eyes; were you-
With no words, no smile and no breath;
I stood there, pleading for my death.
Had it been in my hands, I would have taken your pain;
And given you the life of a blessed rain.
I shall seek my redemption,
In the pain I have to bear-
For I could not wipe your tears;
When they were falling from your eyes.
For I could not hold your hands;
When fear shook them.
For I could not give you light;
When your world was going dark.
And that is something I cannot live with.
I shall seek my redemption,
In memories blurred;
With the mist of dogmatic attitude.
Living a life as a sham,
Mangling my true self;
From where you brought me back.
But when your lips tried to call my name,
The words seemed to have fizzled out.
What I should have heard;
Never reached my ear;
For you were gone too far.
I shall seek my redemption,
In the dreams we had together;
Of having a world of our own-
Where everything else becomes trivial,
With new buds in the garden of life.
And these are all that is left of you.
Your smile that had once,
Made my day,
Was gone forever;
Trying to find a way, back to me;
If only we had a little more time;
I would have wiped your tears,
Held your hands,
And brought your smile back to you.
Life I had hasn't changed a lot;
The same sun, the same moon,
Can't make my time pass too soon.
And here I am living an illusion,
With known problem, but without a solution.