Alcohol Is My Best Friend, But I Have A Crush On Cocaine. Poem by Ocean Doubtfire

Alcohol is my best friend.
He is always there when I need him,
He keeps me company
And shares my interests
In music and philosophy
(Though I suppose I am a nihilist) .

Lately I have been seeing cocaine.
She has expensive tastes
And wants me to do things with my life.
She doesn't bring me down,
But she is flaky.
(I want to risk my comfortable existence for her) .

Alcohol is my best friend,
But I have a crush on cocaine.