All I Ever Wanted Poem by Clyde King

All I ever wanted was to
have you look at me and
say, 'How are you hon?
How was your day? '

And talk. Talk about
anything or nothing.
I didn't care. But you
were never much
of a conversationalist.

It took two years
for you to call me 'Mike.'
Later, after we had children
you'd call me daddy. That
was progress.

You once told me you
never saw your parents
show love for each other.
Then I understood why
there were cold, distant spaces
between us.

When you got Parkinson's
and it's shadow dementia,
all superficialities were
stripped away. Your self
came through and I think
we got to know each
other for the first time
in 43 years. Why did it
take so long? We missed
so much together.

When you were sick
we'd play peek-a-boo.
I'd say 'Boo! I see you'
and you'd laugh. Your
grin and recognition
of me flashed across
your face for an instant
and then it was gone.

We loved each other more
in your last days than
in the first. You dropped
the defenses that protected
you from an alcoholic parent.
You became who you
truly were.

If only...

Nov.2020