Another One For Her, Despite Me Poem by Vonnie Postit

there is no life blood in me from the tips
of my toes to the top of my head
but she has it
it runs through him like fire burning all
the wood in her body
she gives it to me on a silver platter.
she has always offered it;
it has never been the offer that i want to
accept, instead the fact that she's
offering at all makes me want to keep
him guessing.
i wake up soaked, yearning, forgetting
how much i missed being held like the
world has all been condensed into a
massive egg.
he and i are the only two who can
breathe fire.

last night,
i listened to them laugh and considered
the eight fold path, and i considered
boats.
in a circle room, i was padded from the
tips of my toes to the top of my head,
twice over, sometimes three, and i let
the boys warm me with game.
they are not having fun, but having
each other is enough to make them
laugh forever, they are thankful.
so am i.
i smoke 6 cigarettes before game is
through and she tells me to drink more
open water.
kai shui: : (n) boiling water
fire like burning like keeping me safe
and warm like being burnt
i would never let her in once the sun
comes up
he knows this, and accepts it, she
knows i still have burns she knows
i keep my burns like love letters
he knows i am always looking for
myself in the moon. in mornings, on bus
rides, on burning logs, in a fire.

i have always been flaky nothing
is new about this. she is new to me, she does
not know im less reliable than seasons
and less sturdy.
i do not know how long this poem will
go on for, i smoke cigarettes to ensure
its an eternity i can control.
if this phone was made of paper it
would already have burn holes in it.

it's 8 am and she's asleep on my shoulder,
fully letting his weight lay on
me, a weight she would never allow if
she were conscious,
she has more secrets then she lets on.
she has more secrets than she knows
exist.

broken burnt
cold corpse
joy jumping; just-
right-
there