At The Time I Wasn't Ready. Poem by Ceri Louise Baylis

Emotional torment is what has conspired
From a decision I made and reality that transpired
A mistake so great only myself to blame
Unexpected pregnancy the guilt does remain
Trapped in abusive relationship no support id receive
Abortion the only option my loss to alone bereave
No maternal instinct no other way to go
Except for breaking my moral standing code
As I don't believe in abortion killing life that's just begun
But I had no other choice it was all that could be done
No way or means of supporting a young life
With a suffering relationship resulting in strife
I didn't see it as a baby as it had not had time to form
I do still wonder what would of happened if it had been born
Will I go to hell for extinguishing a life that was forming?
Only know on judgement day for my innocence I will be imploring
Its best to know your not ready to sustain a child in this world
Than recklessly inflicting life that I would become too furl
A burden to raise a child singlehandedly with no help
As Stephen was clear on making his true feelings felt
It infuriates me more as if his response had acted in my decision
As a baby would destroy my reality and future vision
I do want children but with someone that wants them too
So I must settle down and commit it is what I must surely do
I'm sure my soul mate is out there destined to wander on my path
And that special someone will become my one true fath.