Back, A Prisoner For Life Poem by Leslie Xavier

Escape I did, for a brief while,
when, with my new found wings,
I fluttered and kicked up a dust storm, small one;
I took off, breaking free, from those chains.

Shackled I was till then, by destiny's cuffs,
happens, when you abandon mid way,
the little things in life - the love - the food for soul;
you were so very used to, in a far off land.
But I had to, life's short, calling was there,
and I set off to the shores not so foreign.
I flourished in a new trade, new face,
but I was cast away, I never knew then.
The chains tightened as I spent my time,
amongst hostile distant faces in the crowd.
Ones who could never smile,
and if they did, it was smirks which made you cry.

The manacles slowly got its prey, they covered me full;
when I was sleeping alone, no one watched my back.
Like a python suffocating its kill,
it was squeezing my life out; Oh the pain was terrible.
I searched for a knife to cut free from misery,
but couldn't find the killer, nor could I see the Iron.
I knew I would die, if I remained there idle;
but I couldn't move, no one called for me.
The grip went tighter, my breath shallow;
slow painful death it was I knew.
I could drag myself out but I couldn't,
was caged in a room with bars, some prison.
Only life's call could make me try,
to break free and breathe again.

Then a voice came through the walls,
telling me life's still there, colourful world.
Urging me to wriggle and try,
to kick out of the serpent's hold.
I did, I did, I sure did my part,
and your wish made me fight that hard.
The extra mile I walked that day,
pushing my body to limits it never knew.
The chains broke, I could move my limbs,
I walked and broke the rest of the links.
The Iron bars were bent with so much ease,
the power you gave, love's strong.
You smiled; I grew stronger, fierce, arrogant too;
no walls could hold me, I was a free man at last.

Now the call was to fly with you,
I followed; wings you gave, delicate ones of faith.
You held my hand and led me up,
I felt life blow spirit into my lungs.
We danced there, a friendship tango,
everyone watched, perhaps envious too.
I was scared I will lose it all,
but you made me believe it was there for life.
Faith again made me say: Yeah,
Forever it was, I told myself.

But life's always been cruel to me,
you let go, that day, a flight of your own.
You said you'd be back in time,
but in days, things turned hazy and dark.
Arrows came through darkened words,
and then came the silence,
ignoring pleas and cries of pain.
My wings started to shrivel,
was going down, free fall it was.
I cried out, one last call, but,
you chose to hear your kind, words of your own.
No chute to break my pace,
I hit the rocks, paralyzed in pain;
broken, not just bones, but my very self.

I could've made a free walk there,
getting up, dragging my battered soul.
But I didn't have the life for it,
nor the will for another try.

Things turned to worse again,
when I heard mocks, laughs from all of them;
who watched my fall and clapped for it.
Circus act it never was, I broke myself can't you see,
they laugh, not at the joker me,
but at the fool who dreamt,
of fairy tales and gay ever afters,
when none was there, now I know.

Its better, the prison cell, inside,
no one will mock me, none will hear the wails.
I drag myself behind the bars,
the broken spirits and baggage too.
The serpent hisses as it stalks,
and winds around me, the coils of steel.
I say I am yours for life,
a prisoner, with no will to fight.
Torture me and burn my flesh,
nothing pains anymore, any longer;
as I have gotten hurt that much before.
Kill me slowly or fast - as you please.
Just don't let me live again.
The cursed life is harder than this,
let me lose one last time, I'm used to it;
and no tears will flow at my grave.