joshua wickstrom

Balled For 'Andrew Spellman'

i cant fuckin take it anymore
im sittin here contemplating my sanity
wondering why you had to go before me,
and i still cant grasp it
sayin goodbye to you in a cascette
it just wasnt right,
why did you have to fight.
it replays in my head, day n night .
from the moment we left the bar.
til i got home n out that cop car.
headin in my door at 10 in the mornin
cant believe your gone, tears are pourin
bottles are open, n the weed is rolled,
need to calm my nerves, and gain control.

cause you were my homie,
never acted like you didnt know me,
and you could always tell
the real from the phony.
you always had my back
n never let me down
if fort needed a king
you would have had the crown.
Ill never forget ya man.
always had your mind right,
and stuck to your plan.
you were a brilliant being,
with a generous soul,
but most of all,
you were my best friend.
my fuckin bro.

I still remember you layin in that cascatte.
your face was so lifeless i couldnt stand it.
i cursed the heavens for taking you.
hurtin inside, everytime i seen you.
that was the coldest day ive ever known.
walking you out of that funeral home.
and into that grave yard.
i never woulda thought losin a bro
could be so hard.
i try to sleep
but i wake up
cold sweats soakin the sheets.
rememberin when we used to play hide n seak.
or smokin joints down by the creek.
you will always be my brother.
and yes ill still go visit dave n your mother.
you best believe that every january eighteenth
ima bustin out the whisky n weed.
yellin rip, rockin the game n lil wayne.
gettin drunk screamin out ya name,
tellin myself you didnt die in vein..

god bless your soul andrew
rest in peace.
ill never forget ya brother.
right ave. and elm street.
haha, love ya man.
god speed~ peace.

Poem Submitted: Thursday, January 15, 2009

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