Bed Bath And Beyond Poem by Shirley Harrison

So they told me even before I arrived

I'd be on the 15th floor

I replied, hell no I hate lifts

then they went silent

short pause...

they then said I could bring one thing from home

of course I chose my framed sunflowers

I always hated the colour yellow

but my sunflowers, are florescent pink

even though I know they are in fact yellow

If I told you they speak to me

I suspect

you would immediately presume I'm barking mad?

well they do, and we have the most magnificent conversations

we talk about everything from political arguments

to the weather and the aliens who most certainly live amongst us

we also have great conversation about the cactus

that sits at the end of my bed

somedays it has more than four arms

did you know that the more arms one has

the more blossoms and fruit it can produce?

what a lot of codswallop

the cactus sitting at the end of my bed is yellow

one of its hands can speak

well, I can only imagine

because I can hear a voice

even though I know I'm the only one in the room

it moves from side to side I swear it laughs at me too

well, today I've decided to snap all its hands off

yes, you heard me

rip them off and throw them out the window

after all

I need some peace and quiet

and so do my sunflowers

after all, it's time for their bed bath.