Before I Could See Poem by Max Saysoff

before...
what happen before...
i am ashamed of it
i cut my wrist
ran a razor down my thy
shoved a knife in my gut
ran the razor on my arm intel it was numb
couldn't feel a thing not even the pain
even with this tears fell from my eyes
so i ran it over again and again
hopping i would fell
fell anything even if it was pain
blood dripping off my fingers running down my chest
body going numb, eyes fading, sit a blur
cant think cant see state, skin crawling
i wake hours latter in a bed arm raped up
chest bandaged i.v in my arm body restricted
can move my arms
lights go out
then comes the pain
the pain
....
the pain
not from the cuts not from the gashes
but from my heart, my emotions getting the best of me
loneness this is what i must face
that was before... i don't wish to say anymore
anymore bout before