Bleeding Heart: A Journey Through Survival. Poem by Simon Jonathan Bulus

Bleeding Heart: A journey through survival

A long walk away to a place I thought I knew,
Looking for answers that never had questions,
Questions that never had answers,
As I buried myself in a grave of shame.

Tears of destruction marked my journey.
Survival was never a mere desire—
Survival was necessity.
To struggle between passion and survival is pain;
To let discipline and principles slip for survival is torture.

Life seems to end just as mine begins.
What if I no longer wish to continue?
Yet it was never my choice to begin with.

As I crawl for survival—
Hatching eggs, breaking bones,
Eating garbage and wishing I never lived—
I hear a voice… Hope.

A voice I did not want to hear,
Yet it spoke to me.

"Listen to me, the day will come;
Time itself will testify.
Tears will turn to joy,
And happiness will last a lifetime.
A heavenly package will be delivered
At your doorstep.

And when that time comes, do not forget—
Oh my son, do not forget:

The days when leftovers were the only thing left,
When the last kobo was your final hope,
When you had to say yes even when it was no,
When heaven and prayers were your only reflection,
Looking up day by day like a makeup artist
Painting faith upon your face.

Oh my son, do not forget."
In the deepness of anticipation, I asked:
But where will my comfort be?
Where will my joy come from?
I wondered.
Still, I journey on.

— Jonathan Simon Bulus
A writer who write right. And when I write, I right wrongs