Breaths Of Slow And Heavy Poem by Timmy Tubbs

You absorb all her hate like a sponge
Gravity just multiplied itself by a million and one
It pulls your head like a current to the cement
And happy moments of others life
Eventually they all forget
What it meant

You want to tell them they’re all wrong and
Everyone dies alone hiding under a porch
With breaths of slow and heavy
Summoning memories to slay the fears and dry the tears
But stripped of their varnish
They’re only left with a burned notes and splintered years
And an axe in the back of your past

She will staple your lips and walk away
And the wind steals the letters
To everything you wanted to say
Only left with hallow excuses and a lit bulb
You are just a pair of footprints in her popular bay

While you plot all the holes you need to fill
She will swallow her past with one special pill
It makes her drool and numbs the body even of you
Eventually the pill gives up hope too
And she seeps back through your cracks
Needing you
Her sorry words echo off your mountains just right
And it’s her worst case; she is blue in the face
She seems real this time
Her eyes shift from blue to green to teal
Only left with old salvation and a lit bulb
You are just a comfortable couch to sit on between deals
And the hide is becoming seamless

And you want so much more
But they have to navigate tortured seas
Because they’re never sure
Of their needs

She took your compass and map
Left early morning while you were at nap
Laid a note and paddled a boat
Back through the storm you thought was a trap
But passed

You awoke and smiled. You knew.
The silhouettes of those birds in last night’s sunset told you so
Last night was the last.
Her worn gloves lay bloodied from the fight

You drifted from being loved and held to
Trying to escape her bubble wrap trap
Like strawberries: only good with small doses
And as strong as she thinks, she can’t push you out
You’re just looking for the perfect escape
Just sick of playing fetch with the same ole ball
She’s pushing on the axe telling you to get out
Finally, you release your white knuckles from her wall

But I’ll tell you: give it time
Soon enough, one will show you how
You stand so tall
Next time, grab his jacket
That way you can both fall