Cruise Ship Gratuities. Poem by Mike Berriman

Cruising can be fun in ships
Enjoying the service before the tips
Called gratuities to soften the blow
Levied daily on accounts they show.

Cruise a week then check your bill
Special cocktails will the account fill
Fifteen percent is charged on top
This extra margin we have to stop.

Added toward the end of cruise
A few hundred dollars is the ruse
Do staff enjoy this tax free perk
Or to company coffers goes this lurk.

Don't tip now because there's more
A tip for waiters on the floor
A tip again for Maitre d
A bon hommie, how good is he.

We must tip our cabin boy
His diligence has bought us joy
Then the bistro staff so nice
AHH, ..those specials curry and rice.

Tip the Captain and first mate
Tip the art auctioneer, I hate
Tip the staff who toil below
Tip the workers I don't know.

Now my budget cruise is not
My savings gone, they have the lot
At least I hold my head up high
A generous tipper they say am I!

MB 2016