Cycle Of Pain Poem by Diana Americano

I find myself in pain
in shame
but not knowing why
I start to cry
its been so long
so why now?
I don't want to see that face
my stomach twists
so i just make a fist
I hold back tears in front of them
but i burst when i get to my door
I close the door behind me
falling to the floor
for the first time
i feel like a small child
lonely and sad
I hardly get mad
but I am when I cry
it's a cycle of pain
so how am I to keep sane?
it's so hard to hide now
it's hard to find peace
now my sanity slips away
tears flow down my face
the cycle of pain goes on
my mind fogs
I disappear and drift off
into my sleep
only to wake again
and repeat the cycle of pain