Dad Poem by Aaron Dubbs

Dad this poem is more of a letter
It's is for all to read for I want all to know.

Your not just a dad your a best friend and confidant a hero a couch a listener a fighter
most importantly a saviour.
You have saved me all my days.
Now I must save you in the same ways.
I can't promise to not screw up
I tell my self same promise and throw it up.
To lie is shit to one you love most
But sometimes it not on purpose and the devil is the host.
Ive put you through lots of terrible this you recall.
But if you count the days we have no stress that list is very tall.
You speak of dying and I try to block that out I still think your 40
I act as though that as high as I can count
It's odd cause some things you can't avoid.
But I only love mom your granddaughter and you
So real pain I have never gone through.

It's odd cause being in love I have never have known
I have said it to some ladies but mostly just something to say to get off the phone.
You mom and my child I love with all parts of my heart.
But being in love never did start.
I wish I loved my bro same way
But if his life or mine I can't say.
Maybe if for monetary gains
but just that thought proves my ability to love is not quite sane
I know love is natural all happen one day
But for now I must prove to you that even though I screw up I am honest when I say.
Without a thought my life I would trade.
Even if it meant you would only have one more birthday cake made.
This is true and a promise I can't break.
But some troubles are hard to shake.
All I can do is try
because if you cut me off
It would be me soon to die
I know when I do bad there is no way to not hurt your heart
But today is today tomorrow always fresh start
Bad stays in the mind
Yet good days don't leave behind
I will do my best not to hurt what's in your chest
If I could give you my heart I would but mine probably is t the best
Dad you understand when I say this think of the last six years.
To a couple months of changed gears.
Six years shows I am able
I need new joy to lay on my table.
As of now we don't just sit and wait.
As often as we can we go on let's say a father son date.
In my adult years friends I don't really need
Because i must naturally enjoy their company
And to me that's just a deed
Starting tomorrow I will have an idea for fun
Maybe we get some bullets and go shot some guns.
Day after that we take a walk
Maybe let's be a pair do some hits not of drugs the ones where people get outlined in chalk.
Or we can drive somewhere by simply going one way on the on the highway for a set time
When that time is up that's the place we find
If nothing there not so bad
Cause I'm your son and your my dad
On a final note please drill this in your mind
A may not be a success in business but i better son in the heart you won't find
One of my issues may be
I don't have the ability to truly see
That I hurt others and do t think it so terrible
Cause I don't get hurt emotionally so I figure it's bearable
If seen death and pain and it does t ruin my day
Other cry and I say what are our plans later today
Are you serious they would say
I say well the day goes on so let's go play