Dear Bully Poem by Hannah La Gaire

Today I sat on my chair trying to figure out why I am always down,
I used to be that happy girl who always had a smile on her face and never frown.
I always gathered with my friends in my community to play games,
We loved hanging out with each other that we gave each other funny nicknames.
I always looked into the mirror and said "baby girl you are beautiful, "
Spending time with my family and friends gazing at the stars at night was wonderful.
I used to dance and walk like no one was watching
and I was never afraid of making new friends.

Now I do not act the funny, outgoing way I used to.
I do not speak and sound the way I used to.
I used to have way more things to say than I do now.
I used to draw so many things but now I do not,
I forgot how to speak, talk and shade with my own pencil,
suddenly afraid of this mysterious darkness.
Things around here are becoming seriously strange,
And I will blame it all on you because

You made me suffer countless times of so much pain,
That now I feel I have not one thing to gain.
I feel so strained that I no longer feel safe,
As I walk into the school I can hear my heart race,
because there are many things I am a scared to face.
I go to school not knowing what will come my way.
I do not know how you think that you are great,
because your heart is filled with negativity and hate.

You find enjoyment by watching people suffer,
Sometimes I wish that the words and actions coming from you can buffer.
I do not know if you love the entertainment coming from the crowd.
I spend mostly all the time by myself because that is not enjoyment to me.
Just think about it, if it were you being treated that way,
Would you love the feeling I get or hate it?
Being pushed against the dirty shelves,
I guess the answer is no right?

Do you know how I feel when you boldly take my snacks?
And my bowl of food and secretly hide it securely?
The time you put chipped up paper into my water,
That could have caused health problems and sent me to the doctor.
The times you called me a brat,
Made me felt like a rat creeping to hide from the crowd.
The time you spread that rumor about me,
I thought the world was against me.

You called me so many names,
That I think I am the one to blame.
Sometimes I wish you never exist,
because you cannot resist me.
I found joy in many things, I had many dreams,
But now they are fading away slowly.
I do not know what I did to deserve all of this.
I know these things last for a while but,

The words you say do not just hurt.
They feel like a knife cutting through my skin.
And thanks to you I started walking with my head down,
always nervous when someone is around.
I am afraid to raise my voice at you
Because I know that will lead to trouble.
I got so used to being treated like that
That it does not matter anymore.

The times you started calling me ugly and fat
made me starve myself every day to become thin.
I skipped one day at a time without eating,
Each week I added a day to skip until It became a habit.
When food is served to me I will say I am not hungry,
It became my new and favourite hobby.
I want to eat the delicious foods that's been served
But your hurtful words eat my brain day by day.

But I want to know what messed you up so bad,
That it makes you enjoy making people cry.
Because of people like you many want to die.
Is it a feeling that you get?
How do you sleep at night?
You have a conscience right?
How do you go along in the day?
Knowing what you did.

All the other things you told me
I dare not repeat it,
because they still replay in my head.
Sticks and stones may break my bones
Yes I could take the sticks and stones
But I cannot take the words,
because they cut through my soul and spirit.

You remember when you said to me
"Gurl ah doh know why you doh move yuh ugly fat self dey"
"Go kill yourself nobody like you eno yuh ah waste ah time"
But I never did and I am so glad I did not,
Now I want to forget about my past.
Therefore I think there is something I need to give you,
I send it out because I feel peace when I do,
I love giving them to people who hurt me,
I give it when I truly mean it
I just want to say I forgive you.