Dear Future Self Poem by Edit Paksi

dear future self,
we've got this far, haven't we?
if i had written ten years ago
to a future self (me)
it wouldn't have been the same.
describing who i was,
the trail that led to her becoming me...
the composition, like an essay.

but now you know enough
to read between the lines.
browse through my mistakes
that fell like heavy rain from the sky.
i hope that the ghosts of the past
have finally been set free,
and they don't haunt you in the midnight air
the way they are haunting me.

did you get some of the things
i've been longing for?
answers, to the never-ending whys,
why i'm following old patterns
and the like.
confidence, that isn't smothered by doubt,
and love. the indescribable.
the kind i have only read about.

i don't expect you to send letters,
gift-wrapped remedies for the ache,
but please don't think less of me
for sticking to a path of pain.
i'm looking forward to catching up,
although we won't even have to speak
you'll already know the whole story
by carrying a piece of me.