Dig A Little Deeper Poem by ness tillson

Sometimes I feel I must be crazy
I seem to explode into insanity
I'm dislocated, torn apart
Cut into pieces, a broken heart.

Spread across the universe
In some sort of primal explosion.

I wonder if this is what will happen
When death knocks at my door,
When the glue of life loosens its grip,
When my heart stops beating,
When I am no more,
Will I explode into a thousand pieces
And be dispersed to the wind like a handful of ashes

Is this the reality of me and my soul
The real universe at the bottom of the hole

Some talk of love, crime and passion
I only see empty delusion
Infinite strings of lies and illusion

So I guess they must be right
I must be crazy
They go on living, smiling and laughing
While I sink deeper into endless confusion

I see no other way for me to on,
No other theme to sing in my song,
I see no peace, no love nor happiness that can touch me,
No kind hand nor smile to caress me,
No kind word nor thought to support me,
My abandonment is complete, final and absolute,
My loneliness is cold as hell fire,
As absolute 0° in the blazing sun
The cold hard steel of the knife in my back,
The hot smoking barrel of your gun.

There seems nothing left but empty confusion
Chaos and delirious demented delusion

Is this how you felt when the nails were
Hammered through your wrists in the sun?

When all was lost for the only one.
When the crowd jeered and laughed,
At your life blood flowing out
To the world like a river
That would never stop flowing,
Is this the true human dilemma?

The heart of our souls,
The story you were telling,
The story you were screaming,
That no one could see nor hear,
That no one could even go near.

Is this the real story of your love for humanity?
The real story of your abandonment,
The real story of our betrayal,
That we live every day, forever and ever.

The real story of the Promised Land,
That never comes.

That died in the night, a broken drum,
The real story of our love together,
That I broke into pieces and buried in the garden,
The Garden of Eden the last dream of illusion,
The true story that no one wants to hear, ,
The truth in our hearts, our ultimate fear

And the song goes on singing
Over the hills and on top of the mountains,
Sad and melancholic lamentations,
Of a love once true, lost and forgotten.

The sun goes on shining and life goes on living,
When all should be black and dead in morning.

Because, we have lost you forever,
Because we have abandoned and killed you in bloody torture,
The innocent lamb of our allegiance,
We have eaten the heart that was meant to feel love,
Killed and roasted the innocent white dove

When will we see our fault our dilemma,
Our brothers we killed and cast our forever.

When will we realise that we are to blame,
For killing the lamb, for killing the flame.

The ever lasting love
The innocent white dove

When you dig a little deeper
At the bottom of the well
You don't find water
You fall into hell.