Distro Kid Poem by Avernus Sans Pitie

"Check the fine print, ' that's the switch and hook
They rewrite the contract, it is a fraudulent look
You walked in the door, signed, and played their game
Now DistroKid is ghosting you
And I'm calling out their name.

Distro Kid smiles like a shark
With a handshake of K and Y grease
They'll carve up your royalties, piece by piece
Started as a partnership, a bridge to the stream
Distro Kid is a nightmare, a corporate FRAUD scheme

Took your membership fee, then locked the gate
Artists are Distro Kid's Hostages left to their fate
Welcome to the circus, where Distro Kid runs the vault
Your check won't land, they'll say it's your own damned fault

Distro Kid—more like FRAUDSTERS in a cloud
Turning independent artists into a mourning crowd
They bleed you dry, then they vanish in the mist,
Another broken contract on the 'Never Again' play list

Now let's talk about the 'Rejections'—the ghost in the machine
The most convenient excuse that I've ever seen
'Your music was rejected, ' says a bot in a loop
While they're tossing my career into a corporate soup

Then they pivot to the lie of the DMCA play
Claim someone put claims to sweep your payday
Who filed the claim? Name the name! Give me a face!
But Distro Kid hides in the shadows of a digital space
While they laugh in your face!

No one filed a claim, another LIE another dirty trick
Distro Kid's Fraudster Lawyers suck
A real BIG WNBA dick
They'll freeze your funds
While Distro Kid FRAUDSTERS get rich

Check Trust Pilot, see the graveyard of dreams
The BBB is screaming, bursting out the seams
From the NY Attorney General to the FTC's door
Document every lie, every theft, every score
You think you're the only one? Look at the thread
Thousands of artists bled until their accounts are dead

Twenty thousand dollars—gone in a blink
Career-defining payout flushed down the sink
They didn't 'lose' the money, they just chose not to pay
Treating your hard work like an all you can eat buffet

When you hit the tickets? The reply is a Bot Farm ghost
A generic auto-response while they're making a toast
'Please wait 3 to 5 days, ' while my bank account's lean
Distro Kid is the biggest fraud in the game

*"More like Sad-Is-Tro Kid! "*

They claim their hands are clean
Distro Kid isn't a distribution service
They're more like Corporate thieves
Sucking the soul out of every artist who believes

Keep your 'Easy Uploads, ' keep your 'Cheap Yearly Fee, '
Distro Kid is a parasite feeding off your dreams
File the forms
Call the AG
FRAUDSTERS with a logo
And a Money Machine
DISTRO KID!