Double Park Poem by Zachary Reitman

Listen carefully
Im going to tell you something very candid
Im not asking you to follow me
So if you do it's just because you wanted to listen

So, without further posturing:

Im sorry for all the centuries
Of trauma
And disrespect.
But you need to understand you are double parked.

I know because I see that car
that's parked where i want to park.

I have been eating breakfast in the dark
For the past ten years
Because I cant stand the way the light looks
Hanging off the refrigerator

Personally speaking at least,
I am eating
And sleeping
And generally living

And I dont think to presumptuous to say im not speaking from picket fences
When I say all I've ever wanted is to have no
Consequences