Free Soul, Trained Mind Poem by Jason Caporaletti

Each day I visualize tomorrow, but all I see is yesterday
Convincing it is to think that the path to freedom is submission
And where my soul aches to rebel my trained mind beats me into conformity
While the bottle the pipe and the brothel stare me down with those seductive eyes and coax me into a everlasting cycle of longing

Direction has no meaning when all ends mirror their beginnings
And so I am mired in that realm that is between sleep and awake
Receiving no rest but making no progress
I cannot help but think there will be nothing more, save for one small fact I cannot ignore
Life will not abandon me

The side of the box says to take two with a glass of water
I know it will be more effective to finish the rest with a swig of gin
But I am held back, something always holds me back
I can't tell if it's bravery or cowardice, strange that those two would be hard to tell apart
It doesn't matter though, the result is the same, I am here
and I'm not sure if I should be angry or grateful

Outside, it's dark and cold
The wind steals away what little warmth the lit end of a cigarete can provide
Light leaks through the poorly shrouded windows that line the alley, too many to count, too many to try
Go the sleep already, why don't they all just go to sleep?
I want to ignore my own hypocrisy, I do, save for one small fact I cannot ignore
they are all like me

And so in its twisted subtle way hope creeps into me
The idea that another soul is out there like me and all I need to do is find her
But I am held back, something always holds me back
My soul wants to chase a dream, I would, save for one small fact I cannot ignore
that dreams will always lead to disappointment
And so my trained mind beats me into conformity
Each day I visualize tomorrow, but all I see is yesterday.